Some of the kindest, most authentic, well-adjusted, sincere and psychologically healthy people I have ever met are very involved in their church. Unfortunately, some of the meanest, hypocritical, dishonest and psychologically-impaired people I have ever met are also very involved in their church.

The arduously difficult job of the pastor is to recognize this reality and to provide an environment supporting the involvement of those in the former group rather than the latter.

Years ago, when I taught a doctor of ministry course on church administration at Erskine Theological Seminary (Due West, S.C.), I covered material on “difficult people” in the church. I planned on going through the content in two hours, highlighting steps to deal with such persons. I did not anticipate or have the ability to control the tidal wave of emotionally-charged stories from students, most of whom were already serving as pastor in a church. We ended up spending two full days on the topic.

I thought I’d heard it all, but some of their accounts describing the pathological actions of church members shocked even me. The stories were replete with descriptions of childishness, jealousy, back-stabbing, dishonesty and downright nastiness. And what was most interesting is that some of the biggest offenders were those who may be seen as “pillars” of the church. I theorized that these folks need places to address and satisfy deep emotional needs (i.e., for control, sense of self-worth, etc.) and problems; the church just turns out to be as good a place as any other.

I was reminded of that course this past week having received a phone call from a colleague wanting advice on how to handle a “difficult” member. I recounted the students’ stories and made the point that, when all is said and done, we want such people in the church. However, I explained, there is a “but”. And the “but” is: But, they should not be placed in a position of authority or responsibility. That is, while we all have “issues” we work through, we should never let one person’s issues negatively affect those in the church and ultimately something so vitally important as the mission of the church. Put another way, we want members to “work out” their issues in the church, not “live out” their issues there.

Clearly, as I went on to explain to my colleague, it is primarily the pastor’s job to welcome all people into God’s house, but that welcoming is not a lifetime pass to involvement in the management of church functions. Additionally, the pastor must also evaluate the reasons behind a member’s interest in serving. In the cases of those well-adjusted, sincere members, we often see a genuine desire to serve Christ. Church involvement is deeply personal to them, and their service is about Christ, not them.

In the case of members who have a track record of conflict and mean-spiritedness, we often see service ultimately rooted in their issues; in the end, their service is about them. And that is problematic as Christianity is Christ-focused, and not self-focused. A person in this category may struggle “getting” the essence of the faith — repentance, forgiveness and love.

Such a lack of a Christ-focus, which would normally allow them to connect in common mission with others in the church, causes these members to champion other things as important — rules (often theirs), traditions, and other non-essentials, as long as they can have some authority and control. The late psychiatrist Scott Peck and theologians James Fowler and Urban Holmes all described this rule-oriented faith as the lowest stage in the process of spiritual growth.

Unfortunately for these folks, by playing church, they miss it. They miss the beauty and spirit behind a worship service, for example, because they are too hung up on whether it is described adequately in the bulletin or whether the color of altar linens are correct according to some calendar.

More often than not, these folks end up butting heads with others; the “me” and “Christ” agendas do not mix well. Since their “default” response to any situation is pessimism, anger, and other negative emotions, there are seemingly unavoidable blow-ups, harsh words, and hurt feelings. Unfortunately, sometimes the offenders actually keep the genuine servers from being involved. And that is what a pastor must prevent.

The Church has a responsibility to preach the good news to all the world. God relies on us in the Church to remove all barriers to those who are seeking a relationship with God. And that means we must vet church members desiring positions of influence so we may minimize the negative effects of those in the “latter” group (often called by churches “persistent trouble-makers”). We have this responsibility to those who come to us for a safe place to flesh out their faith and hear words of acceptance from God, because believe it or not, no one gets up on Sunday morning and says, “Let’s go find the church with the angriest, nastiest and most screwed-up people!”

Now, if this all sounds depressing to someone outside the church, there is indeed good news. And that is this: There are many more people in the “former” group than the “latter” group. These wonderful, positive, sincere, and genuine Christians are God’s gift to the Church. They humble me as a pastor. They “get it.”

May we in the Church be strong enough and wise enough to engage the world with the good news of Jesus Christ through those who reflect His image.