Comedians sometimes give a “top 10” list. After growing up in a pastor’s home, listening to other pastors, and being a pastor myself for 26 years, I have come up with the following Pastor’s Top 10 list.
Drum roll, please. Here are the top 10 things a pastor does NOT want to hear from his congregation:
10. Would you make the music minister sing some different songs?
9. The baptistry has sprung a leak and flooded the church!
8. That substitute preacher we heard during your vacation was great! We need to hear more sermons like that!
7. Would you go see my second cousin’s aunt’s grandmother who’s in the hospital in Atlanta?
6. That was a good sermon, but did we tell you that we don’t pay overtime?
5. Pastor, I know you’re eating supper, but I’ve called to confess my neighbor’s sins.
4. Sorry, I can’t serve this year, because I’ll be gone hunting every weekend November through January.
3. Pastor, I made an appointment for you to go witness to my next door neighbor Friday night. I hope that’s all right.
2. Pastor, I know you’re about to preach, but somebody needs to fix the overflowing toilet in the ladies room right now!
1. I didn’t tell you I was in the hospital because I knew that you’re so close to God, that He would tell you about it in your prayer time.
Copyright 2007 by Bob Rogers. Read this column each Thursday for a mix of religion and humor. For more “Holy Humor,” go to the Web page of First Baptist Church of Rincon at www.fbcrincon.com.