Recently I led a funeral procession, driving my pickup truck. A guest at the funeral, who was from Canada, was surprised to see a pickup truck at the head of a funeral procession, and asked a family member, “Who was that?” The family member proudly said, “That’s our preacher! You’re in Effingham County!”
That pickup truck has a special meaning to me because of how I got it. Three years ago, my church gave me a love offering to help me make the down payment on the pickup truck that I wanted. They kept the offering secret and surprised me on my fifth anniversary. They called it “Operation Tailgate.” A guest preacher heard about that and said, “You know your church is a redneck church if you help your pastor buy a truck for his anniversary.”
Here are a few more signs of a redneck church that somebody passed along to me:
• You know your church is a redneck church if the Finance Committee refuses to buy a chandelier because none of the members know how to play one.
• You know your church is a redneck church if the preacher preaches on how Jesus fed the 5,000 and the people ask if the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch ’em.
• You know your church is a redneck church if baptism is referred to as “branding.”
• You know your church is a redneck church if the pastor and his wife driving matching pickup trucks.
Well, she’s still driving the mini-van, but does it count that she likes to ride in my truck with me?
Copyright 2007 by Bob Rogers. Read this column each Thursday for a mix of religion and humor. Read more “Holy Humor” on the Web at www.fbcrincon.com.