Committing to a relationship may sound overwhelming to you. You are afraid of failing or getting hurt. You believe once you commit to a person, you will lose who you are as an individual. Though you have the right to feel intimidated, committing is easy to do — as long as you do it with the right person.
Since my husband and I come from a similar background of failed marriages, we understand the fear behind commitment. At one point, we asked each other if it worth going through the process again or should we go our separate ways? The less than desirable experiences from our past almost determined our future. Instead, we decided to talk about what was holding us back from giving each other a chance at love.
Your heart may say to settle down, but your mind says otherwise. The fears are strong that you block yourself from taking a leap of faith.
Here are 5 reasons you are afraid of committing to that special someone:
Waking up to and being with the same person every dayThe single life as you know it is over. You will be committed heart and soul to one person. You strongly believe you do not have what it takes to settle down.
However, if you have the person of your dreams in front of you, don’t you think it’s worth giving up the single life and taking a chance at love?
Having childrenYou assume once you commit to someone, having children is a must. That is not necessarily the case. Many couples take their time on building a family. They want to create a stabilized foundation before welcoming children into their lives. In addition, some couples know they do not want children. If the idea of having children honestly scares you, all it takes is a serious discussion between you and your partner.
Previously marriedYou already experienced a painful divorce, and you promised yourself you would never do it again. But not all marriages are the same. You may have had a terrible marriage, but the next one may bring you the happiness you are looking for.
You’re not husband or wife materialYou back away from committing to your partner for fear you will fall short as a spouse. But there is no way that can happen if you give the best of you. A good spouse is supportive, understanding, respectful and loving. If you have the right person in your life, those mannerisms will come naturally to you.
Being told what to doYou assume your partner will treat you as a child. He or she will dictate what to do and how to do it. Unfortunately, there are relationships as such. But when a relationship is built on respect and trust, there is no space for dictators. You make decisions as a team. You value each other's opinions. And accept each other for who you truly are.
Nothing in life is a promise — including relationships. But if you do not try to put an effort into committing, you just might miss something wonderful with someone special.
Mayra Bitsko is a freelance writer, the author of A Second Chance and The Past Beckons and holds a master's degree in business administration-accounting.