Yup. Congress’s bailout plan is like Rip Taylor scooping up a bucket of what everyone thinks is water, wildly throwing it out into the audience and its nuthin’ but a big ol’ bucket of confetti.

Speakin’ of a big ol’ bucket of nuthin’ ... Barney Frank saying there was never a problem with Fannie Mae or Freddie Mac. Why did he do that? Because he knew there was. But he was getting money from them. If it was discovered that there was a problem in either of these two gargantuan money houses, he wouldn’t be able to tap into them anymore.

Same for Chris Dodd. Interesting man. Chris Dodd was the one who supposedly put this bailout plan together, as Harry Reid (D-Nevada) was so quick to fawn over. However, he didn’t fawn over the fact that Chris Dodd was another man hiding the real facts about how much he knew. And apparently, he knew a lot.

Dodd had a cut rate 4.25 percent mortgage, with thousands in fees waived. Thank you, Countrywide. But that’s not just one mortgage. It’s actually three. Did I mention his $800K in loans from ... oh ... who was it? Oh! Countrywide.

Dodd received more in campaign contributions from Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac employees than any other member of Congress. He is third on the list of Bank of America-related donations — after Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton.

He also reacted with flustered outrage that anyone would suggest he was getting special treatment, or that he used his office to save money ($70K plus over the life of the loans). When pressed, he ran. To Ireland. He had to take a vacation. You see, he was afraid the leprechauns would find his pot of gold...

Twenty-six years on the Senate Banking Committee haven’t hurt the dear senator from Connecticut. He’s made a lot of friends along the way. AIG, Bear Sterns, Merrill Lynch, Lehman Brothers ... he must’ve gotten some sweet dosh before they started crying for a bailout.

Tell me if you believe a man with all that experience, power and wide circle of influential friends was unaware of the mess brewing. I doubt it. He took his goodies, I’m sure. He’s not stupid. He may not be truthful, but he’s not stupid.

He was supposed to have disclosed his ‘sweetheart deals’, but so far he’s come up with the same thing as the bailout plan. Bupkis.

And what of this miracle plan that is supposed to be geared for middle class families? Joe “Main Street”? Or...as Sarah Palin calls it, “Joe Sixpack.”

You know what Congress thinks a middle class family is? One that makes about $200K a year. They refer to it as “upper middle class.” I wonder if a family raking in $200K a year regards themselves as “upper middle class?” I doubt it. I’m sure they would put themselves into the ‘upper class’ category, except at tax time, of course.

Middle class families, if lucky, average somewhere between $32K-$75K a year. As a “Main Streeter,’” that’s where I see it. Upper middle class starts right at about $80K. I haven’t taken a look at what the government calls it, because they don’t deal with reality. See? This is why our country keeps going in the same circle. Political figures who make a lot of money, and they do, think that they are “just like us.” They aren’t. Plain and simple. I don’t make the kind of money they do. Most of you don’t either.

So who is this bailout plan designed to help? Not me, for sure. I don’t make wooden arrows (yet) nor do I have a rum distillery in my backyard (yet).

I hope that the plan will take care of the credit crunch for businesses who need it. That’s what the plan was supposed to do. Period. Not all that other muck that got stuck in there.

You keep hearing about all these companies going under, asking for help...but you never hear any reasons why they got into such deep doo-doo in the first place. All you know is one day they’re handing out balloons and pens, the next they’re covering their windows and doors with black paper. Maybe because the CEO was getting $90 million? Yo. I want that job.

It’s natural to get panicky in this situation, not knowing if you’re solid or not. But do not panic. That is the worst thing to do.

This country has more money than it really knows what to do with. You will never hear that outside Washington (til now) because it’s another way for government to have control.

I haven’t attacked the Republicans yet ... I’m sure there are those with some skellikens in their closets, too. They ain’t all goodie-goodie....

When election time comes, think about who’s had your back for the last four years. Senators..congressmen, if they aren’t about their constituents, why are they going to Washington?

Oh ...right ... they’re all lookin’ for Dodd’s pot o’gold.