Would you like to ride
in my beautiful balloon
Way up in the air
In my beautiful balloon...

You get the general idea.

So what is the deal, exactly, with this psycho family out in Colorado that executes that elaborate hoax of their 6-year-old son floating away in a homemade balloon?

It got international attention, but more readily, it was “breaking news” all over the networks last Thursday.

It was just incredible to think that the child had managed to climb into this little paperweight basket and suddenly be gone with the wind.

The newscasters kept talking about how the balloon was spinning, and all I could imagine was that poor child passing out from the constant spinning, how cold he must have been up at 7,000 feet, how scared he must have been watching the houses below.

Several hours later, when the balloon finally lands, the child is nowhere to be found.

Where could he be?

Oh, silly us. Silly gullible American public. Of course the 6-year-old was hiding in a closet in the garage.

And as the family was being interviewed and the father was choking back tears at the thought that he might have lost his son, the son blurts out something akin to “we did it for TV!”

A-ha!

The jig is up! No wait ... it’s down...

We find out after some researchers make a few phone calls that this guy, Richard Heene, which appropriately rhymes with “weenie,”  is just a nut bag.

Heene was obsessed with trying to land a television show and become famous, after having gotten a taste of fame when he and his family appeared on “Wife Swap.”

In that Heene is also one of those 2012ers, he thinks the world is going to end in 2012 so he was after some quick dosh to build a bunker or an underground lair where he and his family would be safe from the sun exploding.

I think his head will explode long before the sun does. One can only hope so anyway, for the sake of his family.

Not to doubt the insanity that is our media and sensational journalism, but I am just positive that there will be a film made about this incident.
The kids are cute, but they looked so depressed when they appeared on national television. And they interviewed the woman who swapped homes with them for “Wife Swap” who is a total nutbag in her own right. Sherry Silver. Psychic. I remembered watching her on that show and I felt enormously sorry for her own children, especially her oldest son.

Not that I have a problem with “psychics” as a rule, but my gosh ... this woman is beyond the beyond.

Heene didn’t like her at all, and he pretty well let her know how whacked out he thought she was.

Can you imagine what that must have been like for the Heene kids? To have a “mad scientist” father who yells at them all the time and a kwayzee womman who cud bahwee speak stwait hovering around  twying to weed der ah-wahs...?

Hard to do that when they are descendants of an alien race, as Heene kept proclaiming.

I have to admit, I thought Heene was a lot more normal than she was. She was more likely dropped out of an alien spacecraft than he was.
No doubt she was delighted to be on television again when the news crews caught up with her in Florida ... but if she is a psychic as she wowd-wee pwo-kwaims to be, how is it that she didn’t alert the media that this was going to happen?

I guess them being aliens and all makes it hard to be read by a psychic.

I know Canyon tells me all the time that I’m crazy, but I haven’t ever forced him into a balloon and set him sailing off under a twilight canopy.

And that was the mistake the Heene’s made.

Should’ve found that cloud to hide behind “We’ll find a cloud to hide us ... and keep the moon beside us”...because right behind that cloud is where the mother ship is.

My psychic intuition tells me so.