I think I can truly say that I have now seen it all.

Today is National Bikini Day. That’s not all that unusual in itself. It would seem that every day is some sort of national made up holiday. We’re also smack-dab in the middle of Air Conditioning Appreciation Days, which apparently lasts until August 15.

Also celebrated this month will be national Black Family Month, Blueberries Month, Child-Centered Divorce Month, Doghouse Repairs Month, Hot Dog Month, Horseradish Month, Watermelon Month and, get this, Wheelchair Beautification Month.

Geez.

There are also weekly holidays. Be Nice to New Jersey Week runs through July 8, while Nude Recreation Week is July 10-16. Then there’s National Baby Food Week, July 19-22, and National Moth Week, July 22-30.

Wow. Where do I sign up for those celebrations?

The daily celebrations, like National Bikini Day, include Work Without Your Hands Day, also celebrated today. There’s also World Kiss Day, to be celebrated Thursday, along with Fried Chicken Day. Bald Is In Day is July 8, Don’t Step On A Bee Day is July 10, and Slurpee Day is July 11 (Get it? 7-11?). That day is also Chick-fil-A Cow Appreciation Day.

Be a Dork Day is July 15. Finally. A day I can feel good about celebrating.

I haven’t even scratched the surface on all these weird, made up holidays.

For National Bikini Day, food stylist Jessie Bearden created a “pizza-kini. Yep. A bikini made of pizza. For a fee of $10,000 you can get fitted for your own pizza-kini, made “only from the freshest ingredients, including homemade, hand-braided dough, 100 percent whole milk mozzarella cheese, sauce made from fresh California tomatoes and delicious pepperoni.”  So states the Facebook page of Villa Italian Kitchen, which collaborated with Bearden to create the pizza-kini.

Think the price is too high? VIK says, via Facebook, “It might seem steep but, the pizza-kini is a completely customized piece that involves both a consultation and personal fitting with a food stylist. The work on the pizza is so meticulous and the attention to detail is such that the project requires a certain amount of time and involvement.”

I haven’t heard if there were any takers. But it seems a shame that this holiday should pass by without a proper observance.

By the way, there’s one of these restaurants nearby – in Savannah. You know, in case you get hungry. Or feel the need for swimwear you can munch.

Hey, here’s a thought: buy the bikini, and save it for Nude Recreation Week. When lunchtime rolls around, you’re set.