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7 tips for the groom-to-be
Tips for Groom-to-Be
Happy is the man who finds a true friend. Happier is he when that true friend is his wife. - photo by Shutterstock.com
Kilee Luthi
Deseret News National
Updated: Jul 16, 2014, 9:00 AM
Published: Jul 14, 2014, 9:12 PM

As young couples prepare for marriage, they are on the path to discovering life at its finest. Marriage is beautiful. It brings to life a type of joy and light that isn’t found elsewhere. However, marriage is hard and takes work. While nothing can truly prepare anyone for what marriage will bring, the following 7 tips can be helpful for the future of the groom.

Marriage isn’t easy
Few things take more work in life than the work required to keep a marriage running smoothly. No matter how much effort is put in, there will still be ripples in the marriage waters. It's a roller coaster full of highs and lows. When the going gets tough, remember marriage is not supposed to be easy. Don't give up. When work is put in, the value will increase.

Hormones are real
Seriously. Whether she is pregnant or just having a particularly emotional month, consider the hormones. She may act different — maybe a little mean. Keep in mind hormones are nasty buggers and be prepared for their occasional wrath. This doesn’t necessarily excuse poor behavior on the bride’s part, but it can help the groom first, understand that she may feel out of control and second, recognize hormonal patterns in her behavior.

Empathy can go a long way
Empathy fuels connection in relationships. It allows her feelings to be heard and valued. Empathy is about validation, hearing, understanding, and vulnerability. With those in place, with whatever is happening in the marriage, hard feelings can be resolved and connections built through the use of empathy.

You don’t need to be the fixer of problems
For one thing, not all problems can be fixed. Not only that, when wives talk to husbands about their problems, they aren’t asking for it to be fixed. They want to be heard and know their feelings are valued. So, rather than jumping immediately to the fixer role, ask what she needs. Hold her, hug her, let her cry. Those actions are invaluable for a woman experiencing emotional pain.

Be honest
When secrets are kept in a marriage, it becomes tough to hold it together. Practicing honesty during dating and engagement is crucial. It will build trust and habits that will keep the marriage together in the long run.

Value her opinion
Sometimes a husband and wife will disagree. That is okay. Disagreements don’t mean the other person’s opinions or ideas aren’t valuable. If she has an opinion about something, make sure she knows her opinion is valid. You don’t have to both agree, but if she feels that you value what she has to say, she won’t be afraid of open communication of any kind. When opinions and ideas get shot down, communication lines — which are crucial to marriage — will be broken down.

Be respectful of her friends and family
Even if you don’t like her friends and family, be respectful. Try getting to know them. Try to see them as she sees them. Just as you would want her to be gracious to those you love, she wants you to be gracious to her loved ones.

As couples prepare for marriage, there is so much they don't know. The joy of marriage is a discovery made through the journey. It's not easy, and it wasn't meant to be easy. But, it is worth it.
Its toxic: New study says blue light from tech devices can speed up blindness
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A new study from the University of Toledo found that blue light from digital devices can transform molecules in your eyes retina into cell killers. - photo by Herb Scribner
Herb Scribner
Deseret News
Published: Aug 13, 2018, 1:39 PM
It turns out checking Twitter or Facebook before bed is bad for your health.

A new study from the University of Toledo found that blue light from digital devices can transform molecules in your eyes retina into cell killers.

That process can lead to age-related macular degeneration, which is a leading cause of blindness in the United States, according to the researchs extract.

Blue light is a common issue for many modern Americans. Blue light is emitted from screens, most notably at night, causing sleep loss, eye strain and a number of other issues.

Dr. Ajith Karunarathne, assistant professor in the UT Department of Chemistry and Biochemistry, said our constant exposure to blue light cant be blocked by the lens or cornea.

"It's no secret that blue light harms our vision by damaging the eye's retina. Our experiments explain how this happens, and we hope this leads to therapies that slow macular degeneration, such as a new kind of eye drop, he said.

Macular degeneration is an incurable eye disease that often affects those in their 50s or 60s. It occurs after the death of photoreceptor cells in the retina. Those cells need retinal to sense light and help signal the brain.

The research team found blue light exposure created poisonous chemical molecules that killed photoreceptor cells

"It's toxic. If you shine blue light on retinal, the retinal kills photoreceptor cells as the signaling molecule on the membrane dissolves," said Kasun Ratnayake, a Ph.D. student researcher working in Karunarathne's cellular photo chemistry group. "Photoreceptor cells do not regenerate in the eye. When they're dead, they're dead for good."

However, the researchers found a molecule called alpha-tocopherol, which comes from Vitamin E, can help prevent cell death, according to Futurism.

The researchers plan to review how light from TVs, cellphones and tablet screens affect the eyes as well.

"If you look at the amount of light coming out of your cellphone, it's not great but it seems tolerable," said Dr. John Payton, visiting assistant professor in the UT Department of Chemistry and Biochemistry. "Some cellphone companies are adding blue-light filters to the screens, and I think that is a good idea."

Indeed, Apple released a Night Shift mode two years ago to help quell blue lights strain on the eyes, according to The Verge. The screen will dim into a warmer, orange light that will cause less stress on the eyes.