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Ask Angela: Do I need to tell my new girlfriend I was engaged before?
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A reader asks Angela if he needs to disclose certain information about his previous relationships. - photo by Angela Trusty
Dear Angela:

I was engaged a year ago. I ended up breaking off the engagement fairly close to the wedding for various reasons, and my bride-to-be wasnt very happy about it. Ultimately, it was an ugly break-up, she and I no longer speak, and words cannot express how thankful I am to have all but moved past that entire situation.

Now Ive started dating again, and my mother recently asked me how my new girlfriend took the news that Id ended an engagement before. I wasnt aware that that was something I needed to disclose, and even after considering it at length am still not fully convinced that it is. The truth is I would rather leave all past relationships in the past. With that said, my girlfriend and I run in the same circles and I wouldnt want her to find this out from someone else and feel like I was dishonest with her. Any advice?

Boyfriend

Dear Boyfriend:

You need to tell her.

First, if you run in the same circles, shell find out. And then itll be like, What? He was engaged? Why didnt he tell me? What else isnt he telling me? He must be shady!

Second, if the roles were reversed, and you were starting to build something with someone, wouldnt you want to know that information? Not because some rule says they have to tell you, but because youre starting to love them and want to know where theyve been? Let her know where you've been.

Lastly, sharing this can be a really positive thing for your new relationship. When you tell your girlfriend, talk about what you learned and how you have a better idea of what to look for now. Dont insult your ex or get too deep into the messy details (thats unattractive and a dating no-no). Just say that generally speaking, it was an unfortunate experience, but its led you to a positive place today.

I think this will work out pretty well. Let us know how it goes!

Love,

Angela

Readers: Do you think "Boyfriend" should tell? What if he decides not to? How would you feel in the girlfriend's shoes?

To learn more about "Boyfriend's" story, like the Ask Angela Facebook page and visit the Ask Angela blog.
Its toxic: New study says blue light from tech devices can speed up blindness
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A new study from the University of Toledo found that blue light from digital devices can transform molecules in your eyes retina into cell killers. - photo by Herb Scribner
It turns out checking Twitter or Facebook before bed is bad for your health.

A new study from the University of Toledo found that blue light from digital devices can transform molecules in your eyes retina into cell killers.

That process can lead to age-related macular degeneration, which is a leading cause of blindness in the United States, according to the researchs extract.

Blue light is a common issue for many modern Americans. Blue light is emitted from screens, most notably at night, causing sleep loss, eye strain and a number of other issues.

Dr. Ajith Karunarathne, assistant professor in the UT Department of Chemistry and Biochemistry, said our constant exposure to blue light cant be blocked by the lens or cornea.

"It's no secret that blue light harms our vision by damaging the eye's retina. Our experiments explain how this happens, and we hope this leads to therapies that slow macular degeneration, such as a new kind of eye drop, he said.

Macular degeneration is an incurable eye disease that often affects those in their 50s or 60s. It occurs after the death of photoreceptor cells in the retina. Those cells need retinal to sense light and help signal the brain.

The research team found blue light exposure created poisonous chemical molecules that killed photoreceptor cells

"It's toxic. If you shine blue light on retinal, the retinal kills photoreceptor cells as the signaling molecule on the membrane dissolves," said Kasun Ratnayake, a Ph.D. student researcher working in Karunarathne's cellular photo chemistry group. "Photoreceptor cells do not regenerate in the eye. When they're dead, they're dead for good."

However, the researchers found a molecule called alpha-tocopherol, which comes from Vitamin E, can help prevent cell death, according to Futurism.

The researchers plan to review how light from TVs, cellphones and tablet screens affect the eyes as well.

"If you look at the amount of light coming out of your cellphone, it's not great but it seems tolerable," said Dr. John Payton, visiting assistant professor in the UT Department of Chemistry and Biochemistry. "Some cellphone companies are adding blue-light filters to the screens, and I think that is a good idea."

Indeed, Apple released a Night Shift mode two years ago to help quell blue lights strain on the eyes, according to The Verge. The screen will dim into a warmer, orange light that will cause less stress on the eyes.