By allowing ads to appear on this site, you support the local businesses who, in turn, support great journalism.
Grounding your kids: You've been doing it wrong
dd97856611
If parents use grounding, they must recognize that they're not only grounding their child but also themselves. After all, someone has to be around to make sure the child does not run off and ignore the grounding.
Gary and Joy Lundberg
Deseret News National
Updated: Jan 1, 2015, 10:00 AM
Published: Dec 30, 2014, 9:27 PM

There are all kinds of pros and cons when it comes to using grounding as a form of discipline. Some parents find grounding effective; others do not. If parents use grounding, they must recognize that they're not only grounding their child but also themselves. After all, someone has to be around to make sure the child does not run off and ignore the grounding. Parents hope the ultimate payoff is that their child will be more obedient as a result of being grounded. Here are some ways to ensure children and parents benefit from this form of discipline.

Here’s what you do.

Step 1: Keep calm. If you yell while issuing the punishment, you’ll be on the losing end. Kids — even naughty kids — need your respect. Following your example is how they learn to give respect to others in difficult situations. Life is full of difficult situations, so the sooner children learn this concept, the happier and more successful they’ll be.

Step 2: Calmly and clearly explain what’s going to happen as a result of the child's disobedience. For example, “I’m sad you chose to take the car without permission. You are now grounded from using the car for three weeks. If you treat me with respect during this time, your privilege to use the car will be restored.”

Step 3: Allow your child to lessen the length of his grounding by earning points to work off time. Make a list of chores with corresponding points. When the jobs are done, tally up the points. When the designated number of points is reached, your child is no longer grounded. For example, you may decide that your child must earn 500 points to get "ungrounded." Here is a great example list from the blog, The Life of Dad: Do one load of laundry (wash, dry, fold and put away) = 100 pointsTake out garbage and re-bag = 10 pointsWrite a nice letter to someone in the family = 10 pointsPrepare and cook dinner = 50 pointsWash windows in living room and kitchen = 50 pointsClean toilets = 50 pointsSweep and mop the kitchen floor = 25 points

Step 4: Praise your child after the completion of each job, making sure each chore is done well. You will enjoy the benefits of your child's work, and he, in turn, will learn the value of work — the reward of good feelings.

Step 5: Periodically hold a family council meeting where these steps are explained to your children. They will be less likely to be disobedient, but some will still test the waters to see if you really mean business. Following through is everything. You must really mean it. With consistency, this method has the power needed to help children make wiser choices. It can bring about more peaceful family relationships.

Alternative to grounding

There is another philosophy that has proven successful for some parents. It’s called “ordeal therapy.” This method seems to be effective when other forms of discipline have failed.

Here’s how it works. If your child is disobedient, choose a consequence that is uncomfortable but has a good outcome. For instance, have your child clean the kitchen floor using a pail of soapy water, a pail of clean water, two cleaning rags and a little elbow grease. She may say, “I’ll use the Swiffer mop instead.” You calmly reply, “Not an option. It is to be done on your hands and knees with the rags and the cleaning solution.

And do it now.” Ignore any grumbling that may ensue as she works away at doing the job.

The uncomfortable part is scrubbing on her knees. The good outcome is the clean kitchen floor. When the task is finished, you thank her for the clean floor and a job well done without mentioning again the reason for the consequence. She won’t need to be reminded. The uncomfortable chore has made it perfectly clear. This same thing can be done by cleaning out the family car, the garage or any other difficult or unpleasant job. One therapist suggested that this be done at an odd hour that is inconvenient to the child, like 6:30am. This adds to making it an unpleasant ordeal.

These suggestions are to help parents create responsible children who learn that disobedience comes with a price. Ultimately, this not only creates happier kids, but it helps kids grow into contributing citizens who know it doesn’t pay to break the law.

See Gary and Joy Lundberg's new .99 e-book “Wake-Up Call: What Every Husband Needs to Know”, on amazon.com.

Gary Lundberg is a licensed marriage and family therapist. Joy is a writer. Together they author books on relationships. See their new .99 e-book "Wake-Up Call: What Every Husband Needs to Know" on amazon.com. Their website is garyjoylundberg.com.
Its toxic: New study says blue light from tech devices can speed up blindness
93cbd7a5475cccd1cee701424125d3abaa9b4beaa58d3663208f656cbbbd7661
A new study from the University of Toledo found that blue light from digital devices can transform molecules in your eyes retina into cell killers. - photo by Herb Scribner
Herb Scribner
Deseret News
Published: Aug 13, 2018, 1:39 PM
It turns out checking Twitter or Facebook before bed is bad for your health.

A new study from the University of Toledo found that blue light from digital devices can transform molecules in your eyes retina into cell killers.

That process can lead to age-related macular degeneration, which is a leading cause of blindness in the United States, according to the researchs extract.

Blue light is a common issue for many modern Americans. Blue light is emitted from screens, most notably at night, causing sleep loss, eye strain and a number of other issues.

Dr. Ajith Karunarathne, assistant professor in the UT Department of Chemistry and Biochemistry, said our constant exposure to blue light cant be blocked by the lens or cornea.

"It's no secret that blue light harms our vision by damaging the eye's retina. Our experiments explain how this happens, and we hope this leads to therapies that slow macular degeneration, such as a new kind of eye drop, he said.

Macular degeneration is an incurable eye disease that often affects those in their 50s or 60s. It occurs after the death of photoreceptor cells in the retina. Those cells need retinal to sense light and help signal the brain.

The research team found blue light exposure created poisonous chemical molecules that killed photoreceptor cells

"It's toxic. If you shine blue light on retinal, the retinal kills photoreceptor cells as the signaling molecule on the membrane dissolves," said Kasun Ratnayake, a Ph.D. student researcher working in Karunarathne's cellular photo chemistry group. "Photoreceptor cells do not regenerate in the eye. When they're dead, they're dead for good."

However, the researchers found a molecule called alpha-tocopherol, which comes from Vitamin E, can help prevent cell death, according to Futurism.

The researchers plan to review how light from TVs, cellphones and tablet screens affect the eyes as well.

"If you look at the amount of light coming out of your cellphone, it's not great but it seems tolerable," said Dr. John Payton, visiting assistant professor in the UT Department of Chemistry and Biochemistry. "Some cellphone companies are adding blue-light filters to the screens, and I think that is a good idea."

Indeed, Apple released a Night Shift mode two years ago to help quell blue lights strain on the eyes, according to The Verge. The screen will dim into a warmer, orange light that will cause less stress on the eyes.