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How to put your best foot forward on a first date
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Getting through the anxiety of a first date and on to the coveted second date. - photo by Loni Harmon
When I was single, I remember the excitement I felt as I anticipated a first date. The excitement was quickly followed by loads of anxiety that caused many first date disasters throughout my 20s. I recall that at one time the fear became specific to the end of the first date. My mind would race as I recalled the movie Hitch, and the signs I was apparently giving off by my struggling to get the key in the door.

Was I supposed to play with my keys if I did want a kiss? Was he the 90 and I am supposed to be the 10? One time I even told my date that I didnt do the doorstep thing as he pulled into my driveway. He got a high-five, and I was out! Yeah, we didnt go out again.

In my late 20s, I finally sought help and learned how to combat my anxiety, and I was fortunate to have many more successful relationships and one that eventually lead to marriage with the most wonderful man.

Here are some tips I learned and that I now teach clients in my private practice:

Its JUST a first date

The goal of a first date is to find out if you want to go on a second date. Take away the pressure of needing to know if you can be with them forever and just keep it focused on getting to know each other.

Have an opinion

When your date asks you for your opinion, give it! For example, if you are asked where youd like to eat respond with, I really like Chinese food or One of my favorite restaurants is (fill in the blank). Having an opinion will serve to help your date know how to make you happy, and when youre happy, you can relax and get to know each other.

Match the conversation

This can be tricky because it involves self-awareness. Sometimes when we get nervous we either over share or dont talk at all. Try and figure out where you fall on that spectrum and be sure to have a matching conversation.

Keep the past in the past unless its in the present

The first date is not the place to get into your past relationships. The exception to this would be if your past is now in your present, as in you have children from a previous relationship.

Sharing a brief statement about your current status such as, I am a single parent. I have children that live with me and share time with my ex-partner is important for a potential future partner to know. If this is to be elaborated on, be sure you feel comfortable sharing and that you feel the information is safe with this person.

If the answer is a maybe, consider holding back details. Be sure to offer little bits about what you learned from your previous relationship and what gives you hope for future relationships.

Be congruent

If you are having a nice time and are enjoying their company, then be sure to let your date know! Again, second dates are often built off what began during the first date. Its true that people remember how you make them feel more than anything else. If youre not interested in moving forward romantically, you can let that be known by carefully telling your date that you dont feel a romantic connection. If you do, feel free to let your date know by directly communicating that you are having a nice time and hope to go out again.
Its toxic: New study says blue light from tech devices can speed up blindness
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A new study from the University of Toledo found that blue light from digital devices can transform molecules in your eyes retina into cell killers. - photo by Herb Scribner
It turns out checking Twitter or Facebook before bed is bad for your health.

A new study from the University of Toledo found that blue light from digital devices can transform molecules in your eyes retina into cell killers.

That process can lead to age-related macular degeneration, which is a leading cause of blindness in the United States, according to the researchs extract.

Blue light is a common issue for many modern Americans. Blue light is emitted from screens, most notably at night, causing sleep loss, eye strain and a number of other issues.

Dr. Ajith Karunarathne, assistant professor in the UT Department of Chemistry and Biochemistry, said our constant exposure to blue light cant be blocked by the lens or cornea.

"It's no secret that blue light harms our vision by damaging the eye's retina. Our experiments explain how this happens, and we hope this leads to therapies that slow macular degeneration, such as a new kind of eye drop, he said.

Macular degeneration is an incurable eye disease that often affects those in their 50s or 60s. It occurs after the death of photoreceptor cells in the retina. Those cells need retinal to sense light and help signal the brain.

The research team found blue light exposure created poisonous chemical molecules that killed photoreceptor cells

"It's toxic. If you shine blue light on retinal, the retinal kills photoreceptor cells as the signaling molecule on the membrane dissolves," said Kasun Ratnayake, a Ph.D. student researcher working in Karunarathne's cellular photo chemistry group. "Photoreceptor cells do not regenerate in the eye. When they're dead, they're dead for good."

However, the researchers found a molecule called alpha-tocopherol, which comes from Vitamin E, can help prevent cell death, according to Futurism.

The researchers plan to review how light from TVs, cellphones and tablet screens affect the eyes as well.

"If you look at the amount of light coming out of your cellphone, it's not great but it seems tolerable," said Dr. John Payton, visiting assistant professor in the UT Department of Chemistry and Biochemistry. "Some cellphone companies are adding blue-light filters to the screens, and I think that is a good idea."

Indeed, Apple released a Night Shift mode two years ago to help quell blue lights strain on the eyes, according to The Verge. The screen will dim into a warmer, orange light that will cause less stress on the eyes.