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Learning to face fears generation after generation
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Amy Choate-Nielsen lists a fear of the dentist among the things she is scared of but must face. - photo by Amy Choate-Nielsen
I overheard my kids talking to each other the other day.

What scares you? my daughter asked her younger brother.

Zombies, he said. What scares you?

Scary noises, she said without hesitation.

The next thing I knew, my son was calling out to me as he held his notebook in one hand and a pen in the other, Mom, how do you spell gaaaaaaaaghreghulrr? he said, making a guttural moan that sounded awfully similar to a scary noise.

I took a guess. Then he asked me how to spell guckguckguckguck and whirrrrrr.

It was quiet for a while after that until my daughter caught on to what was going on and yelled at him for trying to scare her with his words.

I remember another conversation they had in the back of my car recently. The debate was whether mom and dad ever get scared.

Theyre adults; they dont get scared, my son told my daughter. Right, Mom? Have you ever even been scared?

I laughed out loud. Have I been scared? I could write a book about it.

Im scared of spiders, wasps and any other stinging, fast-moving thing. I hesitate at every green light because Im scared other drivers wont stop on the red. Im afraid when my kids jump on trampolines that theyll break their necks. I worry about my parents getting older.

I worry about my son starting kindergarten. Im afraid of heights. Im claustrophobic. I worry every single time my kids get a fever. I get scared when the kids and I are home alone at night. I have a change of clothes on the floor next to my bed every night, in case of an earthquake. I am terrified of the dentist. I insist that my children wear helmets any time they ride anything with wheels. I check that theyre breathing every single night before I go to bed.

I carry mace when I run alone. Im on my guard every time I walk in a dark parking lot. Im scared of superbugs that are resistant to antibiotics, of cancer and of breaking my ankle again. Im scared Ill get rear-ended every time I drive on the freeway. Im scared Ill forget how many breaths (two) to chest compressions (30) if Im ever called upon to do CPR. Were going camping in Glacier National Park next week, and Im scared of the bears.

I could go on. But I didnt want to totally shatter my sons confidence that I am a fearless, strong woman who can keep him safe, so I simply said, Im scared of losing you.

The thing is, I still kill spiders, I still go outside and run away from the wasps, I still drive my car and watch my kids jump on trampolines and send my kids to school. I avoid tight spaces, I only check the kids breathing once, and so far, weve survived the night. I still run, were still going camping and Im still crossing my fingers about the superbugs.

Somewhere along the way, I learned its OK to be scared. Life is full of fear. Its what happens next that matters.

Im trying to teach my children to face their fears.

My grandmother Fleeta, who died before I was born, made a point of exposing her children to opportunities to learn skills she didnt have, such as swimming and playing piano. She never learned to swim the water scared her and she didnt want her children to feel that helplessness.

My daughter is also terrified of drowning. Ironically, her fear makes her tense her body, which makes her sink, which makes it harder to breathe, which reinforces her fear.

She is convinced she will sink like a rock in the deep end of the pool even if there are five lifeguards within a fingers reach.

But still, she goes, enduring swim lessons that push her out of her comfort zone. She practices deep water bobs and rotary breathing and jumping off of the diving board. She faces her fears, and someday, she will have the confidence to save herself in deep water.

Then, one day, when her children ask if she is ever afraid, she might reply, Only of losing you.
Its toxic: New study says blue light from tech devices can speed up blindness
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A new study from the University of Toledo found that blue light from digital devices can transform molecules in your eyes retina into cell killers. - photo by Herb Scribner
It turns out checking Twitter or Facebook before bed is bad for your health.

A new study from the University of Toledo found that blue light from digital devices can transform molecules in your eyes retina into cell killers.

That process can lead to age-related macular degeneration, which is a leading cause of blindness in the United States, according to the researchs extract.

Blue light is a common issue for many modern Americans. Blue light is emitted from screens, most notably at night, causing sleep loss, eye strain and a number of other issues.

Dr. Ajith Karunarathne, assistant professor in the UT Department of Chemistry and Biochemistry, said our constant exposure to blue light cant be blocked by the lens or cornea.

"It's no secret that blue light harms our vision by damaging the eye's retina. Our experiments explain how this happens, and we hope this leads to therapies that slow macular degeneration, such as a new kind of eye drop, he said.

Macular degeneration is an incurable eye disease that often affects those in their 50s or 60s. It occurs after the death of photoreceptor cells in the retina. Those cells need retinal to sense light and help signal the brain.

The research team found blue light exposure created poisonous chemical molecules that killed photoreceptor cells

"It's toxic. If you shine blue light on retinal, the retinal kills photoreceptor cells as the signaling molecule on the membrane dissolves," said Kasun Ratnayake, a Ph.D. student researcher working in Karunarathne's cellular photo chemistry group. "Photoreceptor cells do not regenerate in the eye. When they're dead, they're dead for good."

However, the researchers found a molecule called alpha-tocopherol, which comes from Vitamin E, can help prevent cell death, according to Futurism.

The researchers plan to review how light from TVs, cellphones and tablet screens affect the eyes as well.

"If you look at the amount of light coming out of your cellphone, it's not great but it seems tolerable," said Dr. John Payton, visiting assistant professor in the UT Department of Chemistry and Biochemistry. "Some cellphone companies are adding blue-light filters to the screens, and I think that is a good idea."

Indeed, Apple released a Night Shift mode two years ago to help quell blue lights strain on the eyes, according to The Verge. The screen will dim into a warmer, orange light that will cause less stress on the eyes.