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Lessons this grandpa learned while watching 4 grandchildren solo for 13 days
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Indie and Grandpa Tom share a little one-on-one time, Wednesday, May 4, 2016, in Orange County. - photo by Tom Smart
My daughter Sierra called from California and asked if I would watch her four children while she and her husband, Chase, left the country for a much-needed getaway several months ago. My wife, Heidi (Nana to our grandchildren), had already been reserved for a couple of weeks as the coveted baby sitter for my daughter Amandas three children. The two sisters, who live near each other, wanted to take a couples vacation.

Sierra said, Dad, you are the only person I can think of who might be able to watch the kids for that long. Do you think you can take the time off?

I told her I might need to retire from my job in order to do it, and I did.

As Heidi and I wane toward retirement years, we have both agreed that one of our primary goals in life is to have a meaningful relationship with our grandchildren, although all 11 live out of state.

Two of my grandparents, Avon Rich Smart and Ira B. Sharp, were the guiding lights of my life. No one, other than my parents, has had a stronger influence on me. They both offered unconditional love and a refuge when absolutely no one else could. They encouraged me from as long as I can remember, and I nurtured them as they approached death.

Watching four children solo for 13 days turned out to be an adventure unlike anything I had ever done.

I was so looking forward to being with Johanna, 9, Emerson, 7, Dylan, 5, and Indie, 2, and being the best possible grandpa, I made sure to stop by the library to check out several books I had wanted to read and remembered to pack my guitar to help pass the extra time I would have while watching them.

Wrong.

Most of you who share parenting responsibilities know the lessons I have recently learned, but for me, this experience was a life-changing epiphany.

Sierra left a detailed chart with phone numbers, lesson times, baseball games and gymnastic lessons. Neighbors helped by picking up and taking kids to school and some lessons. In-laws helped with sleepovers for Dylan and Indie. It really took a village, and Im grateful for the help I received. Almost everyone warned me how tough a 2-year-old can be and cautioned that my adorable Indie would quickly have me pulling out what little hair I have left.

Here are a few misadventures and insights I can pass along:

While dealing with a 2-year-old, it is either an I can do it myself day or a you do it day. I dont understand why they are so different, but dont fight it. Just go with it.

After two days, social media is a nonevent. The NBA basketball series I was so interested in disappeared and was replaced by the cartoon series Sophia the First with Indie every day.

Dont do goldfish. Johanna won a goldfish at the after-school fundraiser, and, of course, Emerson, Dylan and Indie all wanted one also. I got the bright idea to do an afternoon venture to the pet store and have everyone pick out his or her own bowl and fish. I could be good Grandpa and leave those valuable lessons of death, loss and grief to the parents when they got home. Unfortunately, we almost didnt last the ride home without a death as Indie wanted to hold her own all the way. After a successful afternoon lesson with each child learning about cleaning the fishbowl and feeding the fish, I thought I had hit a home run. The next day, I heard screams from upstairs as the older three children discovered that Indie had poured all the fish food into each of their bowls. They couldnt find their fish, as the bowls were full of a sootlike substance. The older three all performed life-saving measures while Indie screamed to high heaven.

Although I never got the time to read one of my own books, I did read some amazingly entertaining and thoughtful books at bedtime, such as, I Love You Through and Through and the ever-popular Walter the Farting Dog. Looking back, Im now embarrassed I gave Heidi such a bad time for spending all that money on quality childrens books and am proud of my daughters for passing the love of reading on to their children.

There is an adage Ive tried to follow that goes, Wherever you are, be there. That is never truer then while being with grandchildren. Put the phone down. Dont let the need to let everyone know about your experience override your experience.

Then again, I realized the smartphone has a huge upside, especially when the battery on the phone died while I was driving in the middle of Orange County. With four screaming kids, I had no idea where I was without MapQuest.

When Emerson asked me to teach him the guitar, I explained that the neck is too big for small hands, but maybe I could take him to the music store to look for one he can learn on. Although he can be very forgetful, he relentlessly reminded me about the guitar until good Grandpa took him to the store and bought one.

Sometime during week two, I realized that raising children is like batting in baseball: There are more strikeouts than home runs and it is all about percentages. In fact, I learned while garnering wisdom from Princess Sophia, You may find that when you try to make things perfect, you might find that you make everyone around you perfectly miserable. Hmmm.

There were incredible moments, such as spending time playing laser tag with Emerson and having him declare that it was the best day of his life. Also, there were horrible moments, such as when Johanna fell off the wall onto her head and I worried all night about a concussion. There were puzzling times, such as when Johanna lost a tooth and I had no idea what the deal is with the Tooth Fairy. There was the love of life in Dylans contagious grin, which he has worn since the day he was born.

It was one of the hardest things Ive ever done. But I would do it again in an instant for any one of our children.

As I was leaving, Indie leaned from her mothers arms, crying for me, and held my cheeks between her little hands. Grandpa, dont go. I love you, she said while intently holding my head, almost touching me nose to nose.

Somewhere in those two weeks, I made a connection that changed our relationship to something more than being good Grandpa. The effort I had put into this experience, however unsustainable and unrealistic, left them knowing how much I loved them. They have someone else who will listen, change their diapers, be patient and love them unconditionally.

In 20 years or so (hopefully), I might need someone to do the same for me. I have no doubt they will be there.
Its toxic: New study says blue light from tech devices can speed up blindness
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A new study from the University of Toledo found that blue light from digital devices can transform molecules in your eyes retina into cell killers. - photo by Herb Scribner
It turns out checking Twitter or Facebook before bed is bad for your health.

A new study from the University of Toledo found that blue light from digital devices can transform molecules in your eyes retina into cell killers.

That process can lead to age-related macular degeneration, which is a leading cause of blindness in the United States, according to the researchs extract.

Blue light is a common issue for many modern Americans. Blue light is emitted from screens, most notably at night, causing sleep loss, eye strain and a number of other issues.

Dr. Ajith Karunarathne, assistant professor in the UT Department of Chemistry and Biochemistry, said our constant exposure to blue light cant be blocked by the lens or cornea.

"It's no secret that blue light harms our vision by damaging the eye's retina. Our experiments explain how this happens, and we hope this leads to therapies that slow macular degeneration, such as a new kind of eye drop, he said.

Macular degeneration is an incurable eye disease that often affects those in their 50s or 60s. It occurs after the death of photoreceptor cells in the retina. Those cells need retinal to sense light and help signal the brain.

The research team found blue light exposure created poisonous chemical molecules that killed photoreceptor cells

"It's toxic. If you shine blue light on retinal, the retinal kills photoreceptor cells as the signaling molecule on the membrane dissolves," said Kasun Ratnayake, a Ph.D. student researcher working in Karunarathne's cellular photo chemistry group. "Photoreceptor cells do not regenerate in the eye. When they're dead, they're dead for good."

However, the researchers found a molecule called alpha-tocopherol, which comes from Vitamin E, can help prevent cell death, according to Futurism.

The researchers plan to review how light from TVs, cellphones and tablet screens affect the eyes as well.

"If you look at the amount of light coming out of your cellphone, it's not great but it seems tolerable," said Dr. John Payton, visiting assistant professor in the UT Department of Chemistry and Biochemistry. "Some cellphone companies are adding blue-light filters to the screens, and I think that is a good idea."

Indeed, Apple released a Night Shift mode two years ago to help quell blue lights strain on the eyes, according to The Verge. The screen will dim into a warmer, orange light that will cause less stress on the eyes.