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My reason to run is just to run
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Eight years ago this month I started running, and I haven't looked back. While I may be doing the same thing I was then, I'm a different girl now with different reasons to run. - photo by Kim Cowart
Eight years ago this month I finished my first real run.

I was barely three months postpartum and desperate to find a moment to myself. The day before I had purchased a pair of gym shoes simply because they were on sale. They just happened to be running shoes. Little did I know just how good these shoes would be to me.

While my first real run happened eight years ago, Id run before. In high school I, along with my fellow awkward teens, lumbered around the track four times for what seemed like an eternity, but was probably around 12 minutes. This task seemed so interminably long that we whined and moaned until our gym teacher gave in and allowed us to bring our Walkmans to push us along. To this day, INXS is a time machine taking me back to that red rubber track and a deep-seated fear that the second I stop, blood will pool in my legs and I will die (my teacher ruled with fear, and it worked.)

During my broke college years I would run on breaks to avoid gym membership fees. In the days before high-tech Garmins, iPods and even Internet accessible training plans, I would lace up a pair of generic shoes purchased at a local grocery store (thats not a joke), pull on a heavy cotton T-shirt and run circles around my neighborhood until the Depeche Mode tape on my yellow Walkman hit a song I didnt like (INXS was SO 1990). Thats when I knew my run was finished.

In the winter months, my cotton shirt and shorts were replaced with my green University of Oregon Duck sweats, and, if it was below freezing, my knee-length blue down coat. Still running in grocery-store shoes, I would run until my ears ached from the freezing wind.

Its not hard to see why running didnt stick. It was miserable and nothing more than a means to an end. My only goal was to avoid the freshman 15 (and sophomore 16, and so on.)

So no one was more surprised than I was when, as a 32-year-old new mom, I became a runner a real runner. A runner who ran to run. A runner who craved the endorphins and enjoyed the effort as much as I enjoyed the results. A runner who actually, dare I say, liked running.

Running wasnt a punishment for being late to class or missing a basket in practice. Running wasnt penance for a nights indulgence of burgers and brownies. Running wasnt even a way to spend time with friends. Running was my freedom, my time to think, reassess, prioritize, evaluate or just zone out. It was a time to sweat out the stress of the day and get back a little energy in return.

But happy endings belong only to fairy tales. After those first initial months of bliss, I got sucked into the more mentality more miles, more races, more speed, more medals. When my grandma broke her leg as a young woman, she sat around and ate so many potato chips she made herself sick. Shes no longer a fan of potato chips. Running was quickly becoming my potato chip.

It happened slowly, but I began looking less forward to my runs. I didnt get to run, I had to. I had to do speedwork. I had to tackle 20 miles. I had to shave off 10 minutes on my next marathon. Some runs ended great, and that flame that was there years ago would begin to spark again. But most runs were work. All that was missing was INXS to make runs feel like high school gym again.

I have a big birthday coming up and as with most milestones, a little reflection is in order. What do I want for myself and my family? Where do I want to go. What do I really want to do? What brings me joy?

I found some answers on a spontaneous family trip to Phoenix. For the first time in a very long time, this trip had nothing to do with a race. No expos, no pasta dinners, no pre-sundown bedtimes and pre-dawn wake-up calls. Our first morning, I woke up when my body told me to, pulled on my shorts, tank top and running shoes, grabbed my water belt and told my husband Id be back when I got back. I had a phone if he needed me, but reminded him that he really wouldnt need me (insert single-eyebrow raise here).

And I ran.

I ran not caring where I went, how far or how fast. I found a beautiful path, and a popular one, I might add. I waved enough to give Miss America a run for her money. Everyone running and biking was just so darn happy to be out there! And I was one of them! I stopped when my hamstring begged me to and my water ran low.

This is where I want to be. This is who I want to be the girl who finds freedom and release in a sweat-soaked shirt and quivering quads. I want to be the mom who runs 16 miles and has energy and time to lounge around the pool with the family without worrying about tapers and recoveries. The wife who can suggest a spur-of-the-moment trip to Phoenix to her husband without worrying about race schedules or pre-planned workouts.

I want to be the girl who runs to run.
Its toxic: New study says blue light from tech devices can speed up blindness
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A new study from the University of Toledo found that blue light from digital devices can transform molecules in your eyes retina into cell killers. - photo by Herb Scribner
It turns out checking Twitter or Facebook before bed is bad for your health.

A new study from the University of Toledo found that blue light from digital devices can transform molecules in your eyes retina into cell killers.

That process can lead to age-related macular degeneration, which is a leading cause of blindness in the United States, according to the researchs extract.

Blue light is a common issue for many modern Americans. Blue light is emitted from screens, most notably at night, causing sleep loss, eye strain and a number of other issues.

Dr. Ajith Karunarathne, assistant professor in the UT Department of Chemistry and Biochemistry, said our constant exposure to blue light cant be blocked by the lens or cornea.

"It's no secret that blue light harms our vision by damaging the eye's retina. Our experiments explain how this happens, and we hope this leads to therapies that slow macular degeneration, such as a new kind of eye drop, he said.

Macular degeneration is an incurable eye disease that often affects those in their 50s or 60s. It occurs after the death of photoreceptor cells in the retina. Those cells need retinal to sense light and help signal the brain.

The research team found blue light exposure created poisonous chemical molecules that killed photoreceptor cells

"It's toxic. If you shine blue light on retinal, the retinal kills photoreceptor cells as the signaling molecule on the membrane dissolves," said Kasun Ratnayake, a Ph.D. student researcher working in Karunarathne's cellular photo chemistry group. "Photoreceptor cells do not regenerate in the eye. When they're dead, they're dead for good."

However, the researchers found a molecule called alpha-tocopherol, which comes from Vitamin E, can help prevent cell death, according to Futurism.

The researchers plan to review how light from TVs, cellphones and tablet screens affect the eyes as well.

"If you look at the amount of light coming out of your cellphone, it's not great but it seems tolerable," said Dr. John Payton, visiting assistant professor in the UT Department of Chemistry and Biochemistry. "Some cellphone companies are adding blue-light filters to the screens, and I think that is a good idea."

Indeed, Apple released a Night Shift mode two years ago to help quell blue lights strain on the eyes, according to The Verge. The screen will dim into a warmer, orange light that will cause less stress on the eyes.