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The truth about the 'empty nest'
Empty Nest
Without Children, my house would be clean and my wallet would be full, but my heart would be empty. - photo by Junior Alves Junior
Becky Rickman
Deseret News National
Updated: Jul 8, 2014, 9:00 AM
Published: Jul 7, 2014, 1:32 PM

We watch movies and television shows about folks who suddenly have an "empty nest." The kids are grown, on their own and self-sufficient, raising marvelous families. They have productive, fulfilling jobs, practice their hobbies, have dinner parties, take up tai chi, travel the world and have a generally idyllic life.

Guess again! While this may be the case in a handful of instances, more likely empty nest looks something like this.

You will have to miss your tennis lesson to babysit your grandkids while your oldest daughter takes the car in for repairs so she can get them to theirtennis lessons.That money you had earmarked for a cruise gets divided between your second and third sons. The second needs to catch up on his delinquent student loans so he can keep his credit rating in good standing so he can take out a loan for a cruise with his new wife. The third son needs to put a down payment on a boat that is 'too good a deal' to pass up.Your "baby girl" has decided to drop out of college and "find herself," so that new art studio you set up will need to be converted back into her bedroom.Save that great American novel to a USB stick and tuck it in the drawer because grandson needs a laptop to do homework on and his family's budget is already stretched too thin to be able to get one on their own.The women's retreat you planned to attend in the fall will now be replaced by babysitting four small grandchildren while your middle daughter goes in to have number five. Husband is deployed and her mother-in-law is not "kid-friendly" so, "tag" — you are it.Baby boy had a fender-bender with your car on the way to interview for a job he didn't get. In addition to the cost of repairs, he'll need to float a loan for his household expenses until he lands employment. Guess the new backyard pool can wait another year.

This all probably sounds grim and daunting. There is an upside.

While babysitting the grandkids, one of them spills the beans that your son-in-law just got promoted with a huge raise. Yes! To celebrate, you receive a surprise "thank you for everything" gift — a cruise. Since "baby girl" will be living back home, she will gladly become the resident babysitter, allowing you to get to those tennis lessons. She brings her laptop home with her and allows you to share it. Dig out the USB stick and finish that great American novel. Youngest daughter begs you to let her go watch her nieces and nephews while her sister has number five baby. She enjoys herself so much, she decides to go back to college and major in early childhood development. Baby boy finally lands that dream job, complete with sign-on bonus which he uses to thank you for all you have done for him. The token of his appreciation? A backyard pool. Not quite the one you had saved for, but it will definitely keep you cool when the heat is on. Things don't always conveniently work out like this, but more often than not, you will find joy in these years. The truth is, the golden years are golden because of family. If you never write that book; if you never get that pool; if you never cruise to a tropical location; if every dime you made and saved goes to help out family, you can count yourself blessed. Family is what it's all about.

Becky Lyn is an author and a 35+ year (most of the time) single mom. Visit
Becky Lyn's Website. or write her at beckytheauthor@gmail.com
Its toxic: New study says blue light from tech devices can speed up blindness
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A new study from the University of Toledo found that blue light from digital devices can transform molecules in your eyes retina into cell killers. - photo by Herb Scribner
Herb Scribner
Deseret News
Published: Aug 13, 2018, 1:39 PM
It turns out checking Twitter or Facebook before bed is bad for your health.

A new study from the University of Toledo found that blue light from digital devices can transform molecules in your eyes retina into cell killers.

That process can lead to age-related macular degeneration, which is a leading cause of blindness in the United States, according to the researchs extract.

Blue light is a common issue for many modern Americans. Blue light is emitted from screens, most notably at night, causing sleep loss, eye strain and a number of other issues.

Dr. Ajith Karunarathne, assistant professor in the UT Department of Chemistry and Biochemistry, said our constant exposure to blue light cant be blocked by the lens or cornea.

"It's no secret that blue light harms our vision by damaging the eye's retina. Our experiments explain how this happens, and we hope this leads to therapies that slow macular degeneration, such as a new kind of eye drop, he said.

Macular degeneration is an incurable eye disease that often affects those in their 50s or 60s. It occurs after the death of photoreceptor cells in the retina. Those cells need retinal to sense light and help signal the brain.

The research team found blue light exposure created poisonous chemical molecules that killed photoreceptor cells

"It's toxic. If you shine blue light on retinal, the retinal kills photoreceptor cells as the signaling molecule on the membrane dissolves," said Kasun Ratnayake, a Ph.D. student researcher working in Karunarathne's cellular photo chemistry group. "Photoreceptor cells do not regenerate in the eye. When they're dead, they're dead for good."

However, the researchers found a molecule called alpha-tocopherol, which comes from Vitamin E, can help prevent cell death, according to Futurism.

The researchers plan to review how light from TVs, cellphones and tablet screens affect the eyes as well.

"If you look at the amount of light coming out of your cellphone, it's not great but it seems tolerable," said Dr. John Payton, visiting assistant professor in the UT Department of Chemistry and Biochemistry. "Some cellphone companies are adding blue-light filters to the screens, and I think that is a good idea."

Indeed, Apple released a Night Shift mode two years ago to help quell blue lights strain on the eyes, according to The Verge. The screen will dim into a warmer, orange light that will cause less stress on the eyes.