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What I love about 'La La Land,' and how I'm living an alternate ending
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Sebastian (Ryan Gosling) and Mia (Emma Stone) in La La Land. - photo by Carmen Rasmusen Herbert
The first word out of my mouth after I saw the film "La La Land" was a very loud No! (Note: There are spoilers in this column.)

I sat on the edge of my chair with a huge tub of buttered popcorn and an empty container of frozen Junior Mints on my lap and just stared at the screen while people laughed and exited around me.

No! I said again, looking at my husband and sister. What in the world? Why did it end that way?"

Slowly we got up and walked out of the theater, with me still complaining about the unfairness of it all.

"La La Land" has drawn mixed emotions all around, but not because it wasnt a good movie its because of how great it was that makes the ending so frustrating to figure out.

I sat on the couch later that night discussing it with my husband, Brad.

Why do you think they didnt end up together? I asked.

Brad answered, I dont know. Maybe they were trying to show that you cant have everything. That sometimes you have to sacrifice for the career you want or for the love you want.

In the movie, a jazz pianist and an aspiring actress who have helped each other pursue and achieve their dreams ultimately go their separate ways. You see the main character, Mia (Emma Stone), going home five years later to her husband and baby girl, who you assume is with Ryan Goslins character, Sebastian. But it isnt.

Then in a beautiful musical sequence which shows Mia stumbling upon Sebastians Jazz Club and sees him playing their song on the piano again, the movie takes the viewers back in time, to an alternate ending in which Mia and Sebastian ultimately do end up together. It highlights the ways in which they could have done things differently to have that fairy-tale ending.

According to the template, its closing number should be a happily ever after resolution, not an acceptance of the couples' diverging paths, says writer Hunter Harris for Vulture. But that just underscores that, dance steps aside, 'La La Land' ultimately is not about Mia and Sebastians romance. The real romance was with the shimmer of dreams.

Then it was Brad's turn to ask me a quesiton.

Am I your Ryan Gosling?

What do you mean? I asked. Im not sure that you have ever pushed me as much as Goslings character pushed Mia to achieve her dreams. Is that what you mean?

I mean were living the alternate ending life," he said. "You had a career that I wanted to support you in, but I also wanted to marry you. Think about it: were living the life everyone in that theater wished Mia and Sebastian would have lived.

That really got me thinking. If Brad would have held off on proposing, and I would have moved to Nashville or pursued a music career, would we have ended up together? Would I have had that dream career I always set out to have? And is that what I would have really wanted, in the end?

What I love about "La La Land" is that it touched on so many emotions I have gone through in my own life and career. I dont love that it has some profanity. But it does a very good job at portraying the struggle so many go through in trying to achieve their dreams. And what many people give up in making that dream a reality or giving up that dream for something else.

For me, that something else is Brad. And now its also my sons: Boston, Beckham, Briggs and Benson.

And boy, are they something else.
Its toxic: New study says blue light from tech devices can speed up blindness
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A new study from the University of Toledo found that blue light from digital devices can transform molecules in your eyes retina into cell killers. - photo by Herb Scribner
It turns out checking Twitter or Facebook before bed is bad for your health.

A new study from the University of Toledo found that blue light from digital devices can transform molecules in your eyes retina into cell killers.

That process can lead to age-related macular degeneration, which is a leading cause of blindness in the United States, according to the researchs extract.

Blue light is a common issue for many modern Americans. Blue light is emitted from screens, most notably at night, causing sleep loss, eye strain and a number of other issues.

Dr. Ajith Karunarathne, assistant professor in the UT Department of Chemistry and Biochemistry, said our constant exposure to blue light cant be blocked by the lens or cornea.

"It's no secret that blue light harms our vision by damaging the eye's retina. Our experiments explain how this happens, and we hope this leads to therapies that slow macular degeneration, such as a new kind of eye drop, he said.

Macular degeneration is an incurable eye disease that often affects those in their 50s or 60s. It occurs after the death of photoreceptor cells in the retina. Those cells need retinal to sense light and help signal the brain.

The research team found blue light exposure created poisonous chemical molecules that killed photoreceptor cells

"It's toxic. If you shine blue light on retinal, the retinal kills photoreceptor cells as the signaling molecule on the membrane dissolves," said Kasun Ratnayake, a Ph.D. student researcher working in Karunarathne's cellular photo chemistry group. "Photoreceptor cells do not regenerate in the eye. When they're dead, they're dead for good."

However, the researchers found a molecule called alpha-tocopherol, which comes from Vitamin E, can help prevent cell death, according to Futurism.

The researchers plan to review how light from TVs, cellphones and tablet screens affect the eyes as well.

"If you look at the amount of light coming out of your cellphone, it's not great but it seems tolerable," said Dr. John Payton, visiting assistant professor in the UT Department of Chemistry and Biochemistry. "Some cellphone companies are adding blue-light filters to the screens, and I think that is a good idea."

Indeed, Apple released a Night Shift mode two years ago to help quell blue lights strain on the eyes, according to The Verge. The screen will dim into a warmer, orange light that will cause less stress on the eyes.