It is not unusual for The Kid and I to make fun of Hubs. I mean, the guy just does and says too many off the wall things to let slide.
Take for instance, his recent announcement after a bike ride down to the beach.
Mind you, Hubs is not the shy quiet type.
He’s like a human boom box. It’s no wonder I see that all the neighbors have their windows shut.
Anyway, he comes in from riding his bike and says, "Well, I was out to the beach and I saw whales!" It almost had the tone of him catching some kids doing naughty things at the beach, like he couldn’t believe what they were doing ... like "there ya go!"
I was folding clothes in the bedroom and The Kid was keeping me company.
I picked up a towel and shot a sidelong glance at Hubs.
"Whales, huh? What’d they look like?"
"I don’t know," he said, making the tender windows rattle, "but I was looking out at the water hoping to see a few dolphins, and my eye got drawn out a little further and I could see the whales! Their backs were just barely coming up over the surface and the next thing I knew, they were spraying!"
The Kid looked at me and I looked at him and we both tried really hard not to smile.
"So!" I said, folding another towel, "You go down to the beach and you see a pod of whales swimming by that no one else can see ... is that what you’re saying?"
"Yeah, that’s what I’m saying ... there must’ve been five or six of them. It was so cool!"
I nodded my head and put the towel down, then reaching for a pair of chonies.
"You ride your bike to the beach and you see whales right between the beach and the Channel Islands ... is that it? Something that most people have to pay about 60 bucks for a boat ride out to see, right?"
He shrugged, like "Hey, not my fault!"
"And did these whales...did they resemble Fudgie? Look anything like him?" I asked.
The Kid started giggling, even though he had no clue who Fudgie the Whale was. Neither did Hubs.
"Who? Who’s Fudgie the Whale?" he asked.
"You know, Fudgie the Whale...? One of the Caravel cakes? He has his own fan club..." I said, starting to giggle myself.
Caravel is a throwback to my time spent in New England.
The Kid immediately hopped up and ran to the computer to look up Fudgie the Whale. All of a sudden I hear him start laughing so hard he’s got tears running down his face.
"That’s a good one, Mom!" he hollers out to me.
Hubs get an embarrassed smile on his face and, of course, has to check out Fudgie the Whale.
"Ha. Ha. Very funny. You don’t have to believe me, but I know I saw whales!"
I started laughing, because it all just sounded so ridiculous.
"And did they come out of the water in a spacecraft?" I hollered out, listening as The Kid laughed even harder.
"No! They did not come out in a spacecraft, smartypants!" said Hubs, getting his feathers ruffled.
Now, I have to admit that it is very likely that he did see whales, but the way he tells his story he makes it sound like he could walk right out and pet them.
Being "one with nature" as he likes to say.
The Kid decided it was time to get in on the action.
"And Dad, when you were out riding your bike, did you happen to come across any unicorns?"
I made a whinny sound and of course, we doubled over laughing.
"You guys ... you think it’s so much fun to pick on me, don’t you!"
"Yes, we do!"
I mean, he is an easy target.
Then The Kid started making up a song and it went something like this:
"My dad watches whales
They are his friends
He goes to the beach to watch them
when the day comes to an end.
The unicorns come and give him a ride
they take him to the beach
when it’s time for high tide..
Then the aliens come in their bright blue
saucer, to fly him away to see dolphins and otters..."
We laughed so hard... it was hilarious.
The Kid clearly takes after his mother.
"So, now that you have seen the whales, do you think you can make out what songs they’re singing to each other?"
Another round of laughter.
"Awww ... you guys are brutal! I saw whales, danggit! I know I did! You don’t have to believe me if you don’t want to, but they’re out there!"
Clearly, he is not drinking enough water during the day so he’s begun hallucinating.
"OK, Hubs...next time you see the whales, wave to Fudgie for me."
The Kid, of course, had to do a silly little dance pretending to be Fudgie - and if you ever heard Fudgie’s voice, he has a deep slow tin-can sound to his voice ... it’s very strange.
And with Father’s Day just around the corner, I think we’ll have to line up a Carvel Cake.
One that says "To A Whale of a Dad."
It’s the Fudgie special.
I would suggest that maybe he’s doing LSD, but in his case, the acronym stands for "Let’s See Dolphins."