Sometimes I have good ideas, and sometimes my ideas are about as smart as a can of refried beans.

My latest idea was to go off sugar.

You know, ditch the Little Debbies, eschew the chocolates, and not eat any of the items I bake.

This idea came after realizing that I’d eaten six of the 12 yummy blueberry muffins I’d made.

Yes, I ate six of them.

All before noon of that same day.

Am I nuts? Yes.

Were they great? Yes.

Once I realized how many I’d unconsciously devoured, I realized I had a problem.

It’s not an eating disorder, it’s an addiction to sugar.

Well, OK.

Technically I guess it can be called an “eating disorder.”

Have a chip or a pretzel — crunchy and salty — and then 10 minutes later crave something sweet. Preferably chocolate.

Back and forth.

Round and round.

A vicious cycle.

So I had the bright idea to get myself off the sugar addiction that I was denying I had.

I am now in day six of this withdrawal.

The first three days were not happy ones. A headache that did not want to go away was my constant companion. No amount of Tylenol, Advil or Excedrin seemed to help very much, either. That headache was accompanied by a dull pain in my neck. Of course, that made the nuttier side of me think I was coming down with a case of meningitis.

I know, hypochondriac, right?

Well, fortunately it wasn’t that. No, it was just one of the many side effects of coming off sugar.

Add to that the hours spent dozing under the covers — another side effect.

Feeling like Frankenstein — another side effect.

Getting the system cleaned out — at the oddest times of day or night - another side effect.

Fortunately I was not exhibiting one of the other side effects, which is constant hunger. I have been mighty thirsty, so I have been drinking copious amounts of water. Yep, side effect.

I had no idea that simply giving up sugar would turn my body into a morphed version of its former self.

Anyway, would I recommend going cold turkey like this?

Heck no.

I did eat a half of a little Jello SnakPak to ward off the jitters, and it seemed to help. I guess I can’t go totally cold turkey, but I can wean.
I have managed to forego the caffeine altogether, and that hasn’t been easy, either.

No more half-cup of coffee in the morning or half-can of Coke midday.

No more Cadbury Dairy Bars toward the evening hours, and no more popping a couple of Hershey Kisses like Ambien at bedtime.

What am I doing to curb these late night cravings that I get?

Nothing.

I keep cold water on hand. Not to drink, usually, but to splash myself in the face with when I need to “snap out of it.”

Need that glazed donut? Splash!

Gotta have a dish of ChunkyMonkey? Splash!

Feel like drivin’ down to the DQ for a banana split? Yes, actually, but splash!

I’m hangin’ in, though.

Whether or not I can swear off the bread, pasta, and rice is another story.

I may be dumb, but I ain’t stupid.