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Way down in Egypt land
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Now that the ruling party in this country has deemed us all to be dim-witted idiots who can’t make decisions for ourselves, let us harken back to days of yore.

We are all now living on a fiefdom.

We are the serfs, and the government is our lord and master.

With an anticipated 34 million more serfs coming onto the playing field, we will all be counted on, one way or another, to chip into the melting pot.

Go ahead, squeeze that turnip. We know there’s another drop in there somewhere.

The government, in some form or fashion, is going to start dictating and mandating how we should live our lives, because remember...we are all too dumb to figure it out for ourselves.

Al Gore says we should buy a certain kind of light bulb (’cause he gets a kickback) and the government says, “OK. Let’s take all these other bulbs out of play and only supply our village idiots with this particular type of bulb.”

Same with vehicles.

The government realizes that their dumb-bunny citizens like foreign-made cars, so they scare up some drama and make the bad foreign car company go away.

Why do they do that?

Because no one wants to buy from the government-owned car company, that’s why.

That leaves us with what?

That’s right. Government-run vehicles that you will all be forced to buy, because all the other cars we enjoy will slowly disappear into the shadows of “what once was.”

Alongside that, Mrs. Government Leader says our nation is too fat.

Bang goes the gavel.

Put warning labels on all sugary products on the grocery store shelves.

If you want to buy processed food, you will have to present your government issued ID card so that the government overlords can keep tabs on you.


Look at Citizen Number 2,469.

He bought a bag of Cheetos and a box of Twinkies.

This will cause his health insurance premium to go up because he is buying processed food and a box of sugar.

Thinking of selling your home?

Uh uh, Fair Citizen.

We need to send in our government-run panel of experts to make sure that your house is energy efficient before we can let you put up a sign.

You will need to replace anything in your house that was installed before 2009, or somewhere nearabouts that year.

At your cost, of course.

It may take a lot longer than you think to sell your home.

And what of the profit you might make on your home?

Oh, dear Fair Fellow Citizen, may I borrow your wallet for a moment please? You see, I need to take out about 70 percent of your profit because your neighbor two doors down can’t afford his health care premium this month, and the family on the next block missed a paycheck this month because the father couldn’t pass a mandated drug test and the mother got fined for not having health insurance. So, as you can see, your little profit will have to go toward the good of the others.

We, as your Big-Brother-cradling-you-in-our-arms government, want to make sure that any little extra you might get be quickly dispersed to those who don’t have quite enough.

Don’t you think its only fair, that for all your hard work and attention to bringing in enough to take care of your family, you should be sharing some of that with the fellow down the street who can’t get off his duff to go to work everyday because he counts on you to do that for him?

I mean, if you can afford to buy your child a bicycle, shouldn’t you — as a good citizen — be willing to share your means in order for our dim-witted village-idiot brother to buy a bicycle for his?

What’s that?

You say you need to pray about this?

Oh ho ho, dear Fellow Citizen, there is no need to pray. Remember, we took all that religious nonsense out of our schools...out of our public buildings...and out of people’s homes.

Now, go outside and take down that flag before your Fair and Feeble-minded neighbors notice it.

It doesn’t look good to our foreign friends to be flying a flag with stars and stripes.

There will be a fine for flying that flag, but don’t worry. It will go to the common good.

Now, run along like a good little weevil.

And be sure to spy on your neighbors!