There is a big debate going on right now about whether or not to pull troops out of the Middle East. Still strange to me that we are over there fighting, because, well, for heaven’s sake, it’s desert, and it’s a sad situation that our troops have to be there. Why do our troops have to be there? Because, my good fellow Americans, there are people that cannot stand what we have. They cannot stand that we live joyful, happy,  progressive lives. They have decided that our way of life will lead to the end of humankind. We are “evil,” “despots,” “the scourge of the earth” — and they mean to do away with us, however they can.

It is way beyond time for our country to put the hammer down on immigration. Do you think it’s easy to just blip into a country in Europe unnoticed? Walk around airports, if you feel safe enough to do so. Armed military walk around with you. Guns pointed, ready for anything. Train checks. Plane checks. That side of the world has had more than its fair share of violence from terrorists.

Mercy me, we have been so lucky, even in spite of the 9/11 attacks — which, by the way, will scare the living youknowwhat out of you if you watch the videos again — that we have been more or less out of harm’s way over the last century.

The problem is, terrorists know it. They are watching every move our country makes. We have become so numb to what goes on in our world because we think, again — even after 9/11 — that it can’t happen here. But it can.

Even though we are so far removed from Kuwait, Afghanistan, Iraq and Iran, and I am speaking in a geographical sense, it only takes a matter of hours for someone to board a plane and land here.

What about those boobs in London that tried to blow up the airport? I’d say London was lucky those fellas had trained to be “doctors.” How many doctors does it take to blow up an airport? Apparently quite a few.

“Yes, I was a plastic surgeon before I decided to try my hand at demolition.” I’ll make sure not to use him when I go for an eyelift.

But that’s what can happen here.

I have never been a big fan of having guns in or around my house. Pretty soon, though, I’m thinking I might have to make a trip or two down to the firing range for some lessons.

I refuse to let some dude with a boxcutter in his shoe take me down at WalMart. Ain’t gonna happen.

The real beauty of being an American is having the right to bear arms. Until some dork like Nancy Pelosi starts whining about how wrong it is, that terrorists have civil rights. Uh, uh sister, not in this country.

By the way, I’ve got a big rubberband with her name on it, too.... BOINNNNG!

That’s the reason why our troops are where they are. All over the world, trying to do what is right for us, and for the people who cannot defend themselves.

All I’m sayin’ is, every American that wants to preserve the sanctity that is our country, even for all its faults (and boy have we got ’em ... but they’re ours) ought to be ready, willing, and able to defend what is ours. We can’t allow the terrorists to terrorize us. They have to know that Americans will step up to the plate when it comes to homeland security.

They want a fistful of boomstick?

Big Mama’s got it right here, baby.