I recently read a Baptist church newsletter from Alabama where the pastor was urging people to buy pork BBQs for a fundraiser. “Enjoy some tasty butts,” he said. A Baptist church in Mississippi decided to be creative and call their men’s wild game supper the “Beast Feast.” Unfortunately, it appeared in the church bulletin as “Breast Feast.” The next year they went back to calling it a men’s wild game supper.

Ah, church bulletin bloopers. You never know what strange strangulation of the English language may occur. For example, here are some errors in spelling and grammar that showed up in other church bulletins and newsletters:
• “Solo: ‘The Solid Rock/’Tis So Sweet to Rust in Jesus.’” (Especially oily in the morning.)
• Lutheran church announcement: “The Associated Ministries will hose Dr. Liebenow in an informal ‘Coffee and Conversation.’” (Let us spray.)
• Assembly of God report on church attendance: “A very sweet presence of the Ford was in our praise and worship service.” (Better than a sour old Olds.)
• The Hampton United Methodist Church will sponsor a Harvest Supper on Saturday, October 1. The menu for the evening will be a traditional New England boiled sinner, rolls, homemade apple pie, coffee, tea, and cider. (Talk about being in hot water!)
• Please pray for the sick and tired of the church. (That they’ll come back!)
• On a church bulletin during the minister’s illness: “God is good -Dr. Hargreaves is better.”

Then there is my all-time favorite bulletin blooper: “Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.”

The Bible says in 2 Timothy 3:16, “All Scripture is inspired by God.” The same cannot be said of church bulletins. I’m sure Dr. Hargreaves would agree.

(Copyright 2010 by Bob Rogers. E-mail: brogers@fbcrincon.com. Read this column each Friday for a mix of religion and humor. For more “Holy Humor,” go to the Web site of First Baptist Church of Rincon at www.fbcrincon.com.)