I recently read a Baptist church newsletter from Alabama where the pastor was urging people to buy pork BBQ’s for a fundraiser. “Enjoy some tasty butts,” he said.
Ah, church bulletin bloopers. You never know what strange strangulation of the English language may occur. For example, here are some errors in spelling and grammar that showed up in other church bulletins and newsletters:
• “Solo: ‘The Solid Rock/’Tis So Sweet to Rust in Jesus.’” (Especially oily in the morning.)
• Lutheran church announcement: “The Associated Ministries will hose Dr. Liebenow in an informal ‘Coffee and Conversation.’” (Let us spray.)
• “Congregation: A city set on a hill cannot be had.” (Never heard of Rome or Boston?)
• Assembly of God report on church attendance: “A very sweet presence of the Ford was in our praise and worship service.” (Better than a sour old Olds.)
• The Hampton United Methodist Church will sponsor a Harvest Supper on Saturday, October 1. The menu for the evening will be a traditional New England boiled sinner, rolls, homemade apple pie, coffee, tea, and cider. (Talk about being in hot water!)
• Please pray for the sick and tired of the church. (That they’ll come back!)
• On a church bulletin during the minister’s illness: “God is good -Dr. Hargreaves is better.”
Then there is my all-time favorite bulletin blooper: “Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.”
The Bible says in 2 Timothy 3:16, “All Scripture is inspired by God.” The same cannot be said of church bulletins. I’m sure Dr. Hargreaves would agree.
Copyright 2007 by Bob Rogers. Read this column each Thursday for a mix of religion and humor. You can read more “Holy Humor” on the Web page of First Baptist Church of Rincon at www.fbcrincon.com.