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Distractions: feeding babies during the sermon
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A few weeks ago I told about how I had to stop preaching one Sunday so that everybody could watch a deacon swat a wasp. When it comes to distractions, however, insects cannot compete with babies.

I was preaching on another Sunday night in that same church, when a lady on the front row started feeding her baby. She propped up the 1-year-old in front of her so that the infant was facing the rest of the congregation, and slowly put spoonfuls of baby food in the child’s mouth. I saw every eye in the congregation leave me and turn toward the little one to watch. Great big smiles came across their faces. I guess my sermon had them sad but the kid made them glad, but I don't think this is what the Bible meant by “a little child shall lead them.” I could have turned to the wall and preached, and nobody would have noticed.

At least she didn't breast-feed. My father, who is a retired pastor and chaplain, tells me that happened once when he was preaching. When he was a student at New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary, he served as pastor of a little church along the Mississippi-Louisiana state line. Many of the members floated down the Pearl River to get to church. I was an infant in arms, so Dad would hold me and lead the singing while Mom played the piano, and then Mom would hold me while Dad preached. One Sunday morning as Dad was preaching, an older preschool child of a member was running wild. His mom, who was sitting on the front row, grabbed him and began nursing him right there in front of God and everybody. It closed his mouth but caused many other mouths to drop open. Needless to say, Dad lost the congregation's attention that day.

What we sometimes forget is that after a new believer is born again by faith in Christ, baby Christians need feeding, too. The Bible says, “Like newborn infants, desire the unadulterated spiritual milk, so that you may grow by it in your salvation” (1 Peter 2:2, HCSB.) Scripture declares, “Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the Word of Christ” (Romans 10:17, NASB). So take your kids to the nursery, bring your Bible to church, sit up front, tune out distractions and take notes on the message. Sunday is the time when you need to get fed, baby. ;-)

Copyright 2009 by Bob Rogers. E-mail: brogers@fbcrincon.com. Read this column each Friday for a mix of religion and humor. For more “Holy Humor,” go to the Web site of First Baptist Church of Rincon at www.fbcrincon.com.

Is there a church for a big woman with an itch?
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A pastor was called to be guest preacher at a church. He knew this church was different when the congregation ended every line of the hymn with the shout of “yeehah!”


As he stood to preach, he noticed that people were spread out on the pews. He would see a person, then a space, then another person, and another space. He wondered why nobody sat next to another person, when he noticed on the pew beside each person was a cowboy hat.


Another time this same preacher was invited to a new church in the city. He was surprised to see that everybody there looked like they had fallen face first into a tackle box, because they had piercings and earrings on every part of the body imaginable. A rock band was playing alternative music on the stage.


As different as these two churches were, they were both growing and reaching people for Christ.


Years ago I was pastor of a small country church in the backwoods of Mississippi. There was another Baptist church just five miles away in the town (population 600). The pastor’s wife at the town church asked me, “Why don’t our two churches merge?” I said, “There are people in my church who would not feel comfortable or fit in at your town church.” She said, “Oh, come on. We’re a small town church. What could be so different?”


I said, “Well, I got one really big woman in my church who, when she gets to feeling an itch, she pulls her dress halfway up and she scratches herself.”


The eyes of this pastor’s wife got really big and she said, “I see what you mean.”


I forgot to tell her about another woman in my church who saw a roach running across the wood floor, so she stomped on it with her bare foot, laughed and shouted, “Aha! I got him!”


Yep, the culture was definitely different where I was pastor.


Jesus upset the religious establishment because He crossed cultural barriers. He loved to eat with tax collectors and Gentiles and other strange people. Jesus walked into the land of Samaria, full of half-breed Jews who worshiped in weird ways and talked different and smelled different.


Jesus walked right up to a Samaritan woman at a well and started talking her language. He accepted her culture, but he let her know her sinful lifestyle had to change. Soon she had the whole town following Jesus (see John 4).


So what cultural barrier is keeping somebody in your community from hearing the gospel? If you tear down the cultural barriers to share Christ in your neighborhood, you may hear the angels shouting, “Yeehah!”


Copyright 2014 by Bob Rogers. Email: brogers@fbcrincon.com. Read this column each Friday in the Herald. Visit my blog at www.bobrogers.me.