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Notes offer interesting reading
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Psalm 100:2 (NIV) says, “Worship the Lord with gladness; come before Him with joyful songs.”

Some worshipers also come before him with pencils and paper in hand.

Recently our college and career department cleaned the church when the custodian had to be out. They found so many notes written on offering envelopes and stuffed in pews and hymnals, that they saved their favorites and brought them to me.

All of them are anonymous, but they say a lot about what people are thinking in church.

Some are concerned about the opposite sex. Take this note, for example: “I’ve already gone out with that six grader. But my friend made her break up with me.”

Others are thinking about financial matters, as this envelope indicates: “$25,000 BMW pay in 5 years. 79,000 per year.” (It sounds like they need to shop around for a better interest rate.)

Church seems to bring out budding artists. One person drew pictures of flowers in the  shape of a cross and wrote, “Flowers of the Lord.” Another drew pictures of a donkey, an elephant and a bird. (Democrats, Republicans and...?) Another person drew a full-color picture of green grass, with a man standing on the grass wearing blue jeans in a green shirt with red arms and blond hair and blue rain falling around him. Apparently it was drawn by a visiting artist, as it was on the offering envelope of a different church in Rincon.

Some people are uncomfortable in church, as these notes indicate: “My tailbone REALLY hurts!!!” and, “I feel like I’m falling asleep.”

Oh, well. Perhaps one day we’ll open a pew Bible and find a handwritten note that says, “I was glad when they said to me, Let’s go to the house of the Lord” (Psalm 122:1).

Copyright 2007 by Bob Rogers. Read this column each Thursday for a mix of religion and humor. You can read more “Holy Humor” on the Web site of First Baptist Church of Rincon at www.fbcrincon.com.

Is there a church for a big woman with an itch?
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A pastor was called to be guest preacher at a church. He knew this church was different when the congregation ended every line of the hymn with the shout of “yeehah!”


As he stood to preach, he noticed that people were spread out on the pews. He would see a person, then a space, then another person, and another space. He wondered why nobody sat next to another person, when he noticed on the pew beside each person was a cowboy hat.


Another time this same preacher was invited to a new church in the city. He was surprised to see that everybody there looked like they had fallen face first into a tackle box, because they had piercings and earrings on every part of the body imaginable. A rock band was playing alternative music on the stage.


As different as these two churches were, they were both growing and reaching people for Christ.


Years ago I was pastor of a small country church in the backwoods of Mississippi. There was another Baptist church just five miles away in the town (population 600). The pastor’s wife at the town church asked me, “Why don’t our two churches merge?” I said, “There are people in my church who would not feel comfortable or fit in at your town church.” She said, “Oh, come on. We’re a small town church. What could be so different?”


I said, “Well, I got one really big woman in my church who, when she gets to feeling an itch, she pulls her dress halfway up and she scratches herself.”


The eyes of this pastor’s wife got really big and she said, “I see what you mean.”


I forgot to tell her about another woman in my church who saw a roach running across the wood floor, so she stomped on it with her bare foot, laughed and shouted, “Aha! I got him!”


Yep, the culture was definitely different where I was pastor.


Jesus upset the religious establishment because He crossed cultural barriers. He loved to eat with tax collectors and Gentiles and other strange people. Jesus walked into the land of Samaria, full of half-breed Jews who worshiped in weird ways and talked different and smelled different.


Jesus walked right up to a Samaritan woman at a well and started talking her language. He accepted her culture, but he let her know her sinful lifestyle had to change. Soon she had the whole town following Jesus (see John 4).


So what cultural barrier is keeping somebody in your community from hearing the gospel? If you tear down the cultural barriers to share Christ in your neighborhood, you may hear the angels shouting, “Yeehah!”


Copyright 2014 by Bob Rogers. Email: brogers@fbcrincon.com. Read this column each Friday in the Herald. Visit my blog at www.bobrogers.me.