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Singing Open Our Eyes with the eyes closed
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Once I was in church singing “Open Our Eyes, Lord,” and I suddenly realized that I was singing it with my eyes closed.

I thought, “This doesn’t make sense. If I’m asking the Lord to ‘open my eyes’ then why do I have them shut?” I started wondering if we make an oxymoron out of other songs that we sing.

Most music ministers won’t let us remain seated for “Stand Up, Stand Up for Jesus,” so why don’t we shake the rafters when we sing “Shout to the Lord”?

Have you ever seen somebody put a dollar in the offering plate while singing, “Lord, You Are More Precious than Silver” or refuse to work in the nursery and then sing “How sweet to hold a newborn baby” (the second verse to “Because He Lives”)?

I heard about a song leader who directed the beat of the songs with a big swoop up, pointing his finger in the air, and then a big swoop down, pointing his finger to the ground. This went fine until he sang, “When the roll is called up yonder...” and lifted his arms to the sky, and then sang the rest of the line “...I’ll be there” and pointed down below.

Actually, there are times when we seem to mean exactly what we sing. “We Shall Not Be Moved” seems to be an appropriate hymn after a stubborn confrontation in a business meeting, and after church pot-luck when the hostess says that whoever wants some extra pecan pie can help themselves, I can imagine a men’s quartet breaking out in “‘Whosoever’ Meaneath Me.”

But why do we sing “Sweet Hour of Prayer” after a one-minute prayer or sing “Take Time to Be Holy” and then tell the preacher we’re too busy to help with the food closet?

Maybe it’s time that we pay more attention to what we’re singing.

So the next time you sing, “Change My Heart, Oh God,” listen up! Your pastor is about to preach, and he might actually have a song for you to put into action.

(Copyright 2012 by Bob Rogers. Email: brogers@fbcrincon.com. Read this column each Friday in the Herald. Read old “Holy Humor” columns by visiting www.fbcrincon.com and clicking on “Holy Humor.”)

Is there a church for a big woman with an itch?
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A pastor was called to be guest preacher at a church. He knew this church was different when the congregation ended every line of the hymn with the shout of “yeehah!”


As he stood to preach, he noticed that people were spread out on the pews. He would see a person, then a space, then another person, and another space. He wondered why nobody sat next to another person, when he noticed on the pew beside each person was a cowboy hat.


Another time this same preacher was invited to a new church in the city. He was surprised to see that everybody there looked like they had fallen face first into a tackle box, because they had piercings and earrings on every part of the body imaginable. A rock band was playing alternative music on the stage.


As different as these two churches were, they were both growing and reaching people for Christ.


Years ago I was pastor of a small country church in the backwoods of Mississippi. There was another Baptist church just five miles away in the town (population 600). The pastor’s wife at the town church asked me, “Why don’t our two churches merge?” I said, “There are people in my church who would not feel comfortable or fit in at your town church.” She said, “Oh, come on. We’re a small town church. What could be so different?”


I said, “Well, I got one really big woman in my church who, when she gets to feeling an itch, she pulls her dress halfway up and she scratches herself.”


The eyes of this pastor’s wife got really big and she said, “I see what you mean.”


I forgot to tell her about another woman in my church who saw a roach running across the wood floor, so she stomped on it with her bare foot, laughed and shouted, “Aha! I got him!”


Yep, the culture was definitely different where I was pastor.


Jesus upset the religious establishment because He crossed cultural barriers. He loved to eat with tax collectors and Gentiles and other strange people. Jesus walked into the land of Samaria, full of half-breed Jews who worshiped in weird ways and talked different and smelled different.


Jesus walked right up to a Samaritan woman at a well and started talking her language. He accepted her culture, but he let her know her sinful lifestyle had to change. Soon she had the whole town following Jesus (see John 4).


So what cultural barrier is keeping somebody in your community from hearing the gospel? If you tear down the cultural barriers to share Christ in your neighborhood, you may hear the angels shouting, “Yeehah!”


Copyright 2014 by Bob Rogers. Email: brogers@fbcrincon.com. Read this column each Friday in the Herald. Visit my blog at www.bobrogers.me.