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The time the pastor found out that Pearly was just peachy
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Sometimes a pastor feels awkward when he is called upon to visit somebody he does not know in the hospital, but it is really embarrassing when he visits somebody that he does know but he does not recognize! That happened to me recently. Let me explain — and I will change the names to protect the innocent.

Our church office received a request to visit Pearly Precious (obviously not her real name), who was having knee surgery. It was the hospital visitation day of our associate pastor, so he went to make the visit, but the family had left and Pearly was in surgery, so he left his card and departed. I called later and got Pearly’s room and talked to her daughter, who thanked me for calling, and told me she was recovering well from the knee surgery. A couple days later, I was in town, so I went to the hospital to visit.

I knocked on the door, which had her last name, “Precious,” on the door, but when I entered the room, I did not recognize the patient! Confused, I introduced myself, and started to excuse myself, when the daughter said that she remembered talking to me on the phone and thanked me for coming. I looked at Mrs. Pearly, and said, “Sorry I didn’t recognize you at first — your hair is shorter.” After a long pause, the daughter said, “Now tell me, what connection does our family have to your church?”

I said, “Uh, I came to visit Pearly Precious.”

They said, “This is Pearly Precious.”

I said, “I have a Pearly Precious who is a member of First Baptist Church in Rincon.”

They said, “She’s a member of Woodlawn Baptist Church in Baxley.”

That’s when we realized the mix-up. There were two women with the same name! So I just went ahead and prayed with the other Pearly and left to call the house of my Pearly. She answered the phone, and I asked how she was doing. She said, “Just fine.” When I told he what happened, she said, “I haven’t been in the hospital in years. But that explains why somebody called and asked about my surgery!”

Psalm 138:8 (HCSB) says, “The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me.” If I was a pagan, I would think my perchance visit was purposeless. But the Precious family from Baxley was pleased to have a pastor pray with them, and the Precious family from Rincon was proud that their Pearly felt just peachy. Yes, God has a plan and a purpose for all people, even pastors and patients who don’t plan to pray together. What plan do you perceive He has for you?

(Copyright 2011 by Bob Rogers. Email: brogers@fbcrincon.com. Read more “Holy Humor” on my blog at www.bobrogers.me.)

Is there a church for a big woman with an itch?
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A pastor was called to be guest preacher at a church. He knew this church was different when the congregation ended every line of the hymn with the shout of “yeehah!”


As he stood to preach, he noticed that people were spread out on the pews. He would see a person, then a space, then another person, and another space. He wondered why nobody sat next to another person, when he noticed on the pew beside each person was a cowboy hat.


Another time this same preacher was invited to a new church in the city. He was surprised to see that everybody there looked like they had fallen face first into a tackle box, because they had piercings and earrings on every part of the body imaginable. A rock band was playing alternative music on the stage.


As different as these two churches were, they were both growing and reaching people for Christ.


Years ago I was pastor of a small country church in the backwoods of Mississippi. There was another Baptist church just five miles away in the town (population 600). The pastor’s wife at the town church asked me, “Why don’t our two churches merge?” I said, “There are people in my church who would not feel comfortable or fit in at your town church.” She said, “Oh, come on. We’re a small town church. What could be so different?”


I said, “Well, I got one really big woman in my church who, when she gets to feeling an itch, she pulls her dress halfway up and she scratches herself.”


The eyes of this pastor’s wife got really big and she said, “I see what you mean.”


I forgot to tell her about another woman in my church who saw a roach running across the wood floor, so she stomped on it with her bare foot, laughed and shouted, “Aha! I got him!”


Yep, the culture was definitely different where I was pastor.


Jesus upset the religious establishment because He crossed cultural barriers. He loved to eat with tax collectors and Gentiles and other strange people. Jesus walked into the land of Samaria, full of half-breed Jews who worshiped in weird ways and talked different and smelled different.


Jesus walked right up to a Samaritan woman at a well and started talking her language. He accepted her culture, but he let her know her sinful lifestyle had to change. Soon she had the whole town following Jesus (see John 4).


So what cultural barrier is keeping somebody in your community from hearing the gospel? If you tear down the cultural barriers to share Christ in your neighborhood, you may hear the angels shouting, “Yeehah!”


Copyright 2014 by Bob Rogers. Email: brogers@fbcrincon.com. Read this column each Friday in the Herald. Visit my blog at www.bobrogers.me.