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12 Ways To Care For Your Lawn
12 Ways To Care For Your Lawn
Eliminate brown spots. Try green food coloring or chlorophyll steroid shots. On the lawn, not on yourself! - photo by Spring-green law care, YouTube
Tim Torkildson
Deseret News National
Updated: Jul 16, 2014, 12:00 AM
Published: Jul 14, 2014, 9:11 PM

Only use organic fertilizer. To tell if a fertilizer is organic, and not made up of a bunch of yucky chemicals, look on the label for these three words: “It’s Organic, Stupid." 

Avoid soil compaction. This is best done by seeding your lawn with sticks of dynamite every other week. It also keeps the neighborhood kids from playing lacrosse on your lawn. 

Mow infrequently. Mow only when Johnny Weissmuller starts swinging through the grass stalks. 

Use an organic herbicide. To tell if an herbicide is organic, and not made up of a bunch of yucky chemicals, look on the label for these four words: “It’s Organic, Stupid – alright?” 

Encourage soil aeration and avoid root rot. Sprinkle your grass with Mennen aftershave lotion, part down the middle, and massage vigorously while singing “I Dreamt I Dwelt in Marble Halls." 

Water deeply. This is best done by locating the nearest hydroelectric plant and asking them to open all the gates. If that is inconvenient, try a rain dance. 

Eliminate brown spots. Try green food coloring or chlorophyll steroid shots. On the lawn, not on yourself! 

Use an organic insecticide. To tell if an insecticide is organic, and not made up of a bunch of yucky chemicals, look on the label for these five words: “It’s Organic, Stupid – nuff said!” 

Keep the blades on your lawnmower sharp. Give it the GMAT test once a month. 

Remove lawn thatch with a rake that has an incline of less than 10 degrees and is not affiliated with any free radicals. Also, make sure your clippers are well oiled and your powder is dry...and don’t take any wooden nickels. 

Never mix seed varieties that are incompatible. What do you get when you cross Bahiagrass with Bluegrass? A religious lawn that plays the banjo. 

Use organic shoes when you walk on your lawn. To tell if your shoes are organic, and not made up of a bunch of yucky chemicals, look on the label for these six words: “Don’t You Feel Silly Right Now?”

Tim grew up in the Midwest. His parents were from Norway. He has written several novels and biographies He works in social media and is a content provider for the political humor blog http://iwritetheblogggs.com/
Its toxic: New study says blue light from tech devices can speed up blindness
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A new study from the University of Toledo found that blue light from digital devices can transform molecules in your eyes retina into cell killers. - photo by Herb Scribner
Herb Scribner
Deseret News
Published: Aug 13, 2018, 1:39 PM
It turns out checking Twitter or Facebook before bed is bad for your health.

A new study from the University of Toledo found that blue light from digital devices can transform molecules in your eyes retina into cell killers.

That process can lead to age-related macular degeneration, which is a leading cause of blindness in the United States, according to the researchs extract.

Blue light is a common issue for many modern Americans. Blue light is emitted from screens, most notably at night, causing sleep loss, eye strain and a number of other issues.

Dr. Ajith Karunarathne, assistant professor in the UT Department of Chemistry and Biochemistry, said our constant exposure to blue light cant be blocked by the lens or cornea.

"It's no secret that blue light harms our vision by damaging the eye's retina. Our experiments explain how this happens, and we hope this leads to therapies that slow macular degeneration, such as a new kind of eye drop, he said.

Macular degeneration is an incurable eye disease that often affects those in their 50s or 60s. It occurs after the death of photoreceptor cells in the retina. Those cells need retinal to sense light and help signal the brain.

The research team found blue light exposure created poisonous chemical molecules that killed photoreceptor cells

"It's toxic. If you shine blue light on retinal, the retinal kills photoreceptor cells as the signaling molecule on the membrane dissolves," said Kasun Ratnayake, a Ph.D. student researcher working in Karunarathne's cellular photo chemistry group. "Photoreceptor cells do not regenerate in the eye. When they're dead, they're dead for good."

However, the researchers found a molecule called alpha-tocopherol, which comes from Vitamin E, can help prevent cell death, according to Futurism.

The researchers plan to review how light from TVs, cellphones and tablet screens affect the eyes as well.

"If you look at the amount of light coming out of your cellphone, it's not great but it seems tolerable," said Dr. John Payton, visiting assistant professor in the UT Department of Chemistry and Biochemistry. "Some cellphone companies are adding blue-light filters to the screens, and I think that is a good idea."

Indeed, Apple released a Night Shift mode two years ago to help quell blue lights strain on the eyes, according to The Verge. The screen will dim into a warmer, orange light that will cause less stress on the eyes.