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A little perverted justice
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Our boys in Atlanta have sure been busy lately. They have made tougher dog-fightin’ laws ... which means, you gonna git it comin’ or goin’, and don’t you think you won’t!

And while they were dukin’ it out in the ring over what measures to take to ensure that Georgia is no longer the butt of dog-fightin’ jokes, somebody must’ve raised their hand and said, “Hold on there a minute fellas! I just had another stroke of brilliance!”and came up with House Bill 908.

This particular House bill sort of limits where pervs can live in relation to where minors hang out.

This year, it’s been expanded to include public libraries, and also a 1,000-foot restriction on places where “sex offenders” can “volunteer.”

Yo. Wait a minute. Back up. Sex offenders actually do volunteer work? For real? Shizmanizzle. Remind me of that next time I show up for a Red Cross drive.

And, uh, what about the statement that the pervs are being limited as to where they live ... you know, so they won’t be close to where minor children “hang out?” Minor children do not need to be “hangin’ out” anywhere! They need to have their little beehinds at home, doin’ homework and watching “Andy Griffith!”

I felt Jon Burns was doing me a great big favor last week when I read his column.

He was layin’ it out on the table.

No dog-fightin, or yer gonna get yer tail whupped ... but good!

Sex offenders can’t live around schools. Or churches. Or malls. Or Dairy Queens.

Next yet, and better yet, if you can get a state license to carry a concealed permit, you’re golden. You can carry it in your vehicle, to parks, historical sites and recreational areas. All the sort of places a “sex offender” might hang out.

The next bit of business they had up there in Hotlanta was House Bill 130 that allows consumers to “freeze” their credit report, so those “sex offenders” and dog-fighters can’t access your information and blame you for the stuff they do, like gettin’ credit in your name and going online to subscribe to a porn site.

“Whoa there, Willis! That wasn’t me! That was that dog-fightin’ perverted identity thief!”


Truth be told, I’d rather have a dog-fighter livin’ next door to me than a perv. If I found out some idiot who digs on children was livin’ in my neighborhood? Sorry, but I’d have to pay the dog-fighter to sic the hounds on ’im.

Georgia laws are just not tough enough on “sex offenders.” And what kind of term is that anyway? Some ol’ whitewashed excuse for a perverted child abuser. I mean, call it what it is.

I wouldn’t be worried about dog-fighting or identity theft if I was a state rep. No way, bubbas. I’d be up there fightin’ like a mother hen, and passing the toughest laws against child predators and ‘sex offenders’ you’ve ever seen. Those folks would not want to live in my state. No sir.

Be like those no-gooders down in Florida living under that bridge. All 19 of them. The cops said, “No can do, boys. Mosey on!”

They want a place to live?

I’ve got one for them. Its called “Gitmo.” Short for ‘Git your moseefus butt outta my town.’”

Even got recreation down there for them, too.

Its called “waterboarding.”

If they don’t like it, too bad.

In the meantime, I’ll be hangin’ around the parks, libraries, recreation areas and historic sites with my state-licensed concealed weapon.

My dog-fightin’ next door neighbor and his pits will be in the back of my truck.

Just in case I need some back up.