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Yes, ol’ Drunk Unk is at it again.

He recently celebrated his 51st birthday, and I had the inclination to send him a birthday card, with a letter enclosed.
I wasn’t mean or horrible, I just told him the truth. That he needed to get some help for his alcoholism, that he was probably well on his way to being a complete mental case, and that his “poor, pitiful me” act had seen better days within the confines our little family. I explained that we no longer had the patience or the stamina to put up with his helpless routine and that he’d have to bear the burden of his own life all by himself.

I explained that he can no longer refer to himself as a “drunk,” because most drunks get up and go to work every day. He does not.

Do I feel sorry for alcoholics? Yeah. Right. Never have, never will. Especially when its someone close to me. There is no excuse for it. With all the help that is available for wretched souls, there is no excuse not to take it.

As always, the truth hurt.

He lashed out at my oldest brother, calling him throughout the night and leaving whacked out drunken messages about how we were all attacking him and it was all Hubs’ fault (huh?), and that Hubs was conspiring against him blah blah blah. This tirade was endless and chock full of profanities. But hey, my own mother used to tell me I swore like a sailor, so that part doesn’t bother me.

The morning after his drunken birthday pityparty, he calls Numbah One Son (big bro) and leaves a contrite message, apologizing for his behavior, sorry for all the phone calls, et cetera, and then, to cap it all off, he says, “If I am an alcoholic… (didja catch the ‘if’ part? There is no question about it, he IS an alcoholic, trust me), then what Ellen said was the worst thing you could say to a guy like me. I’m trying my tail off (in lieu of what he really said) to find work, and no one knows that.”

Obviously, he ain’t tryin’ hard enough. I mean, McDonalds and Burger King are equidistant from his house, and he hasn’t made a move toward either place. That kind of work is beneath him.

The most work he can muster up is to pick up the phone and whine about only having three English muffins and a can of beans left to eat. But that’s the story one day. The next day it’s “I’ve only got two eggs and a half pound of bacon til I find a job...”, and of course, big bro just rolls his eyes and says, “tough noogies.” It’s all a ruse. He tries really hard to come up with some sad, pitiful tale, hoping that one of his siblings will have mercy and drop off a bag of groceries.

I did. A couple of times. Until I realized that he was sitting there with his feet up, smoking a cig and havin’ a cold one, just knowing that some good samaritan was comin’ round.

The last time I bothered to drop by and check up on him, his screen door had a huge rip in it. I knew what had happened, but I had to ask anyway.

“Oh, well, this kid down the street did that. He come over to see ma dawg one day, and put his foot raht thru th’door. Stupid punk.”

OK, how did you get all those holes in your walls? I didn’t see those when you moved in here.

“Oh. I had this guy stayin’ with me a coupla days, some dumb GI, and he busted out them holes in the walls.”

I guess it couldn’t have been those drunken rages of yours, could it? No doubt you spend time planting flowers when you’re all tanked up.

Never admit to anything, dude, because that’s how they get ya. He has never once taken responsibility for anything. When his truck caught fire, he blamed it on his ex wife. Mind you, he was drunk, sitting behind the wheel in my parent’s driveway, and there were about 50 cigarette packs up on the dash, down on the floormats ... he was lucky that night. He passed out after putting his smoke up on the dash to fiddle with the radio. Next thing you know, POOF! Up in smoke, only not as funny as Cheech and Chong.

I went outside at 2 in the morning to watch him flood his truck with the garden hose. Still with the smoke in his mouth and a beer in one hand.

He’s more amazing than Criss Angel.

But after all, he is a mind freak.

In Effingham County, Progress Starts With a Plan
Guest Editorial by Susan Kraut, President/CEO of Effingham County Chamber of Commerce
Susan Kraut column
A sold-out crowd of more than 150 business and community leaders gathered at Effingham’s New Ebenezer Retreat Center Sept. 24 for the Chamber of Commerce’s annual State of the County Luncheon, hearing updates on economic growth, education, and infrastructure across Effingham County. (Submitted photo)

At last Wednesday’s sold-out State of the County luncheon, more than 150 business and community leaders heard a message that resonated throughout the program: We have a plan, and we’re sticking to it.

Effingham County City Manager Tim Callanan opened his remarks with that thought. It was simple, but powerful. In an era when news feeds churn with controversy and change, it served as a reminder that behind the scenes, steady planning is happening – and those plans are beginning to bear fruit.

Businesses and residents often express frustration about roads, zoning, parks, schools or economic development, feeling that growth is outpacing action. The truth, as Callanan underscored, is that many of those actions are already underway, rooted in master plans that cover everything from transportation and stormwater to parks, communications and public safety.

The challenge is that plans only matter if people know they exist. Too often, businesses and citizens forget these plans are in place, don’t know where to find them or don’t realize how to weigh in at the right moments. When that happens, the community loses the chance to shape its own future and to express the value of those plans – why they matter and why they’re worth supporting.

Planning delivers progress

Last week’s luncheon highlighted how “plans” translate into progress. Mayor Kevin Exley shared Rincon’s ranking as one of Georgia’s safest cities and the city’s launch of the Citizen Central app – a small but meaningful step toward accessible local government. Springfield’s new city manager, Lauren Eargle, outlined a capital improvement plan that includes sidewalks, drainage and playgrounds, along with the less glamorous but vital work of a $35 million wastewater plant upgrade. Guyton’s city manager, Bill Lindsey, discussed contracting with planning consultants, winning grants for sidewalks, and reinvesting in Bazemore Park and downtown revitalization. These aren’t random acts; they’re evidence of intentional planning.

The school district provided another example when Superintendent Yancy Ford noted that Effingham now serves nearly 14,500 students speaking 33 languages. That diversity is an asset – but it also requires careful, proactive investment to maintain the high standards families expect. His most powerful point concerned ESPLOST, the 1-cent Education Special Purpose Local Option Sales Tax. Thanks to community support over the years, ESPLOST has built classrooms, purchased buses, enhanced safety measures, provided Chromebooks to all students, added security cameras and access-control systems, created inclusive playgrounds and athletic facilities open to the community, supported hands-on learning spaces like Honey Ridge, and established the College & Career Academy – a facility credited by Ford as helping lift the district’s graduation rate above 90% and expanding career pathways for a rapidly diversifying student body. And it has done so without incurring long-term debt.

Why ESPLOST matters

Among these examples of planning, none is clearer than ESPLOST — a long-term, voter-approved blueprint for funding education, renewed every five years to stay ahead of growth. The November ballot will again include the ESPLOST renewal, giving voters the opportunity to continue this proven approach to funding school facilities, technology, safety, transportation, inclusive playgrounds and community-accessible athletic fields. Renewing ESPLOST does not create a new tax; it simply extends the existing 1-cent sales tax, allowing residents, visitors and businesses to contribute to improvements that benefit every student. Without it, many of the projects parents and community members count on – such as new buses, safer schools, modern classrooms, career pathways and accessible playgrounds – would stall or require long-term debt.

Renewing ESPLOST is about more than bricks and mortar. It is not a reactionary measure but part of an intentional, ongoing plan to manage growth and maintain education – reinforcing the theme that plans become progress. As the district’s population becomes increasingly diverse and enrollment continues to rise, sustained ESPLOST funding is crucial to scaling programs, expanding facilities and maintaining the high graduation rates and opportunities that families expect. It is about protecting Effingham County’s tradition of educational excellence, maintaining property values and ensuring the workforce being prepared in our schools is ready to meet the needs of local employers. It is an investment in students, families and the future of our communities.

A call to the community

Effingham County is growing. Growth brings challenges, but it also brings opportunities. As the luncheon demonstrated, leaders at every level are working to guide that growth thoughtfully. The next step belongs to business owners, parents and neighbors – to lean in, stay informed and participate.

When hearing about a master plan, a referendum or a public meeting, don’t assume it is someone else’s job. Look up the plan, attend the forum, ask questions and cast a vote. That is how plans become progress – and how a yes vote on ESPLOST reaffirms and continues the community’s long-term plan for educational excellence, reinvesting in Effingham County’s future.