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New material for Jerry Springer
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I have to admire the Iraqi who bothered to take off his shoes and hurl them at almost-former President Bush. What a hoot! Not that I admire him for the action, of course, I admire him for having the utter gall to do it in a roomful of press and security agents. If he’d done that to Saddam Hussein? Hello! That dude’s head would’ve gone flying across the room. Instead, Bush joked, “If anyone wants the shoes, they’re a size 10!” Go Georgieboy!

If only it were that easy for the rest of us to get our points across. Can you just picture those Senators up on Capitol Hill hurling their big Florsheims at Nancy Pelosi, or Chris Dodd, or Barney Frank? I’d like to have one of those big ol’ heavy hummin’ street shoes like the dude had.  And I mean, come on, you know he got those shoes outta some donation box from the U.S. Ingrate.

So they did the right thing when they tackled and hauled him off after he hurled those big black bricks up there would’ve left quite a waffle mark on Bush’s forehead if the guy had been able to make contact. And I know that sometimes you just get so irritated at someone you wanna take off your shoes and smack ‘em down with one. My mom used to pull off one of her little soft slippers from Kmart and give us a beatdown. Not quite the same effect as a wooden spoon or one of Pop’s combat boots, but we faked it to make her feel better.

And by the way, did GW at least have the courtesy to give the guy his shoes back? He’d probably walked a long way from that Afghani cave to get to that photo op — and it wasn’t the tossing of the shoes that was so offensive. It was the smell coming out of them. But after all, he could’ve been flingin’ some hot and steamy camel dung instead. Now that, my friends, would have been a good photo op.

Just the other day my good friend William, who is from Jordan, was at his coffee spot with his chess-playing buddies when one of the group, an Iraqi Muslim, started berating Bush and Christians. William seethed. Suddenly, he could no longer take the anti-American bull this guy was spouting and he leaped up and slapped the guy across the face.
“You don’t like this country?” he hollered, “then get the hell out!”

He said the guy backed down like a chickenspiz, “ typical Iraqi fashion!” Man, talk about your smackdown.

Go Willieboy … our new Secretary of Defense! And yes, William is a legal citizen of this country, and extremely proud to be one.

Let’s see … what’s the other newsworthy item for the week … oh yeah! Bernie “I Madoff with billions of your dollahs.” Wow. Talk about an exceptionally sly fox.

These folks that got wiped out weren’t dummies, either. Just greedy. I gotta hand to him, he sure made it look and sound good.

One gal was interviewed who talked about her husband giving Madoff $1million from his profit sharing plan when he retired, thinking he’d turn that amount many times over. And he probably did. On paper. But some people just don’t know when to call it quits, and that’s when life bites them on the butt.

The interviewer asked if she had any words of advice for folks to avoid this kind of disaster in the future.

“Don’t put all your eggs in one basket!” she said, sounding like Sophia from “Golden Girls.”

Duh, lady. That’s a no-brainer. It goes right along with the other old adage, “If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.”

Now. What do you suppose the Big 3 are gonna do with their little gift of $17.4 billion? I know one thing. If they don’t clean up their act, I’ve got a pair of my late Pop’s combat boots in the closet waitin’ to be called back into action.

Duck, you suckers….