I normally don’t find things of this nature to be particularly funny, but this newsworthy tidbit was brought to my attention by a friend. I couldn’t help but laugh, even knowing how weirdly scary it was at the same time.

Seems a lovely man by the name of Franklin Copeland, age 62, was recently caught hiding behind a dumpster near the playground of a Chatham County daycare.

An observant and cautious citizen saw him and reported him to the police.

When the police pulled up to question him, he responded that he was merely “eating wieners.” After a pat-down, a pack of 22 wieners was found in the area one might normally find a “wiener.”

That’s the part I found so humorous.

Mr. Copeland is a registered sex offender. However, as it turns out, he was not yet registered in Chatham County.

He had been deposited in Chatham County on May 7 by the Bulloch County Sheriff’s Office to reside at a local shelter, and had not yet made his sex offender status known to Chatham County.

Instead, he was out scouting out sweet little corners to hide in and have his snack of cold weenies.

That’s the part that was weird and scary.

Another friend commented to me that he was a good candidate for “castration,” but I had to remind her that castration doesn’t solve the problem. It’s an unfortunate mental glitch that these fellas have, and no amount of mutilation is going to turn their twisted little minds back to appropriate behavior mode.

Now, I don’t know Mr. Copeland’s background nor do I want to. Not really. I have major issues with sex offenders. I know that there are some guys who get in trouble for having consensual relations with underage girls, and there is that fine line ... he was 18 and she was 15 ... something like that. I would be really ticked if I had a 15-year-old daughter who was foolin’ around with anyone, I don’t care how old the fella is. And anyone who is 18 should know better than to mess with a minor. Period.

My problem is with the guys who just cannot keep their hands off kids. The guys who are passing photos across the Internet. The guys who don’t see anything wrong with the Man-Boy Love Association. Civil liberties be hanged.

Men who prey on children should automatically be stripped of any civil liberty because the minute they cross that line, they have taken away everything from that child.

The laws regarding sex offenders in this country are way too lenient.

If the lawmakers would just turn it over to us moms, we’d make sure that no “sex offender” or “predator” walked the streets. Ever.

If I had my way, I would just make one of those heavy duty bug zappers about 7 feet high and 4 feet wide.

How many volts would it take to be effective? To turn that perv into a crispy critter? I’m guessing about 100,000. I don’t know, never was good in science. But I think 100,000 volts of effectively zapping a sex offender into non-existence would be the law.

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

Think about it. Take the program “To Catch A Predator.” Surely you have seen it, or heard of it. The set up is a sting operation, catching guys who chat online with supposed underage boys and girls and eventually leads to the older guy wanting to hook up with these “underaged” kids.
It is mindboggling to see who shows up to meet these young girls or boys. Absolutely mindboggling.

It would significantly lower the cost of police work if they let us moms take over.

If Chris Hansen were to have one of those big ol’ zappers in the houses they use as bait to catch these guys, you’d be hearing those big body zappers going off like the 4th of July. Spittin’, poppin’ fizzin’ and cracklin’.

And as you know, nothing says the 4th of July like the smell of roasting “wieners.”