Sometimes the best advice we receive can appear too simple.

I recall working at a business in South Florida when I had the chance to meet the popular singing duo Steve Lawrence and Eydie Gorme´.

Over the ensuing weeks, we became friendly and soon were chatting casually about things going on in our lives. I was fortunate and grateful that they would take the time now and then to treat me like a son.

Both Lawrence and Gorme´ were genuinely nice people, and on one occasion in early 1984 after we discussed my upcoming marriage, Steve Lawrence turned to me and said, “I have just one bit of advice.”

“OK, I’m all ears” I replied.

Of course, I did not know at that time that the Lawrence-Gorme´ team would spend 55 years together as a happily married couple, but I somehow knew what Steve Lawrence was about to tell me would be important — maybe even monumental in my life.
Lawrence said, “Every day you have to try.”

That was it. Talk about anti-climactic. I was expecting something huge — guru-like advice from a master. “You have to try?” Seriously?
Oh, he was so right. It seemed too simple at first, but Steve Lawrence was spot on.

I have come to believe that the state of any person’s marriage can change if that person stops, at some point during the day, and asks, “What have I done today to make my spouse feel loved and valued?” And if the answer is nothing, that person sees to it that the next thing he or she does is make sure that happens.

It may take something as small as a phone call or text with a message of appreciation. It may mean nothing more than stopping on the way home to get something meaningful for your spouse. It may be simply doing the dishes or drawing your spouse’s bath. It’s not the monetary cost; it is the sheer fact that your spouse was on your mind and appreciated. Actually, most acts of love and appreciation are free.

But they are not without value. Imagine, just imagine, if we each “tried” in this way, as Steve Lawrence said, not once in a while, but “every day.” Imagine what would happen to our marriages. Imagine what would happen to our joy in life. Imagine what would happen to each of us. After all, we often tell others how much our spouses mean to us — but too often not to our spouses themselves.

Yes, sometimes the best advice can seem too simple.

In the same vein, good advice can also come from those who see things simply — children. Here is actual advice from children who were asked various questions about marriage.

How do you know who the right person is to marry?

“You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.” — Alan, age 10

“No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with.” — Kristen, age 10

What is the right age to get married?

“Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person forever by then!” — Camille, age 10

How can a stranger tell if two people are married?

“You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.” - Derrick, age 8

What do you think you parents have in common?

“Both don’t want any more kids.” — Lori, age 8

“On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.” — Martin, age 10

What would you do on a first date that was turning sour?

“I’d run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.” — Craig, age 9

When is it OK to kiss someone?

“When they’re rich.” — Pam, age 7

How would the world be different if people didn’t get married?

“There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn’t there?” — Kelvin, age 8

How would you make a marriage work?

“Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.”

—- Ricky, age 10