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The top Biblical ways to acquire a wife
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The Bible says, “A man who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord” (Proverbs 18:22, HCSB.) Did you hear about the young preacher who prayed, “God, give me a beautiful wife and a big church”? God gave him a big wife and a beautiful church. But at least he got a wife!

Christian comedian Mark Lowry made a list of some really unusual ways men have found wives in the Bible. Here are five of them:

1. Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head, trim her nails and give her new clothes. Then she’s yours. - (Deuteronomy 21:11-13)

2. Purchase a piece of property and get a woman as part of the deal. - Boaz (Ruth 4:5-10)

3. Go to a party and hide. When the women come out to dance, grab one and carry her off to be your wife. - Benjaminites (Judges 21:19-25)

4. Have God create a wife for you while you sleep. Note: this will cost you a rib. - Adam (Genesis 2:19-24)

5. Agree to work seven years in exchange for a woman’s hand in marriage. Get tricked into marrying the wrong woman. Then work another seven years for the woman you wanted to marry in the first place. That’s right. Fourteen years of toil for a woman. - Jacob (Genesis 29:15-30).

Yes, getting a wife can be hard, but it’s worth it. The Bible describes many strange ways that men got wives. Before anybody writes a letter to the editor, let me quickly add that the Bible is just describing what happened, it is not recommending any of these ways, since many of the men were in sinful lifestyles when they did what they did. Nevertheless, the fact remains that the Bible says finding a wife is a good thing. Scripture urges husbands to “rejoice with the wife of thy youth” (Proverbs 5:18, KJV). So men, be glad you have her, be faithful to her, cherish her, and show her how much you love her. You see, “A capable wife is a husband’s crown” (Proverbs 12:4, HCSB). Mine makes me feel like I’m King of the Hill.

(Copyright 2011 by Bob Rogers.  E-mail: brogers@fbcrincon.com. Read my blog at www.holyhumor.blogspot.com.)