How many doctors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One hundred fifty, according to President Barack Obama.

And he should know.

He needs a replacement bulb. Desperately.

He gathers up 150 doctors from across the United States because he tells them with a gentle stroke of their egos, that “nobody has more credibility with the American public on this issue than you do.”

He must be outta his mind.

Do you trust your doctor more than your horoscope?

I didn’t think so.

How is this for a trustworthy doctor: My friend had half her colon removed and was told what to eat and what not to eat. She can eat a little dust, and perhaps a few bread crumbs at best.

She traveled three hours for her doctor’s appointment to follow up on her eating regime, and asked about the safety of taking dietary supplements and vitamins.

The doctor, who looked about 12, according to my friend, simply shrugged and said, “You can take ’em if you wanna.”

Gee, what sound and authoritative advice.

Not unlike my last doctor visit when I went in to have my ears checked after being down for the count for five days with an inner ear infection.

He looked me up on the computer and asked if I was still taking a specific brand of birth control pill.

I looked at him quizzically and said, “Birth control pill?”

And he repeated himself, asking if I was still on GynoNoWork or whatever it was.

I said, “Umm ... you sure you got the right patient pulled up there?”

And of course, he didn’t.

He pulled me up for real the next go ‘round and said, “Oh…you’ve been  in here several times for this issue, haven’t you?”

Duh.

“Yes. That’s me.”

He didn’t look in my ears, he didn’t do anything remotely physical to me.

He hit a button and printed out a prescription for some antibiotics.

I walked out, somewhat stunned that he hadn’t even taken the time to check me out, and in my moment of befuddlement, I didn’t bother to make him do it.

As Hubs and I were leaving the clinic, I wanted to hear what the uninsured folks behind us were having to pay for their visit, as we are also uninsured.

Our tab was $125 for a five-minute visit.

Their tab was $40.

Hmm. Hubs should have used his ESL background when signing us in.

Another friend has some pretty serious medical issues and cannot get insurance because of them. Her doctor told her there was an operation that she had to have, it was of the utmost importance.

She shrugged and said, “Can’t afford it.”

He called her a couple of days later and made an under-the-table price cut for her, one that she was able to afford, so she had the surgery.

How does El Presidente think he is gonna convince a scant handful of doctors to buy into the bull-oney he’s trying to pass off?

Folks, no matter what he says, it is going to cost you big one way or the other.

If you don’t have insurance and still cannot afford even what the government wants to offer up, you’ll be fined.

Does that make any sense? To fine you for something you cannot afford? Of course not.

How are people still convincing themselves that this administration is one of “Change” and “Hope?” That The Messiah walks on this earth, and mostly around the grounds of the capitol building?

When will the rest of the folks who voted him in see through the Cloak of Invisibility?

This is a man whose hand-picked team of elitists are no better than the barkers on the boardwalk of Atlantic City.

Hucksters.

Shysters.

Sleight-of-hand master magicians.

If he could pull another $8 billion out of his back side for his next “stimulus,” he could probably pull some flying monkeys outta there, too.

If he is as wonderful as his devoted followers say he is, then perhaps he’ll be able to feed the multitudes of the unemployed with a few fish and a couple of bottles of wine.

And maybe by those hand-picked doctors standing in his presence, they’ll be able to cure the sick and raise the dead.

That’s how they’re gonna end up passing this monstrosity of a health care bill.

Because The Chosen One said it would work.

Right.

To paraphrase 2 Corinthians 11:3 — “But I am afraid that, as the serpent deceived Eve by his craftiness, your minds will be led astray….”

The Great and Powerful Oz has his smoke and mirrors, but he doesn’t have the magic ruby slippers he’s promising.