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Living out in LaLa Land
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I’ve lived around the country and had my share of experiences.

Living in the South, I had great fried chicken, excellent creamed spinach and outrageously good hush puppies. I’ve had some gorgeous Georgia white shrimp and a big plate of shrimp and grits that would be enough to feed a family of four.

One thing about living in the South, and in Georgia in particular, is that you know no matter where you eat, you’re gonna get plenty to take home later.

Living in New England, around the Boston area in particular, I could count on some great pastrami sandwiches, an occasional lobster roll or clam roll, and a bakery on every corner.

If you’ve never had a sandwich on a bulky roll with Cain’s mayonnaise, you don’t know what you’re missing.

And soda of any kind is called “tonic.”

The folks there weren’t always as friendly and accommodating as their more genteel cousins in the South, but a good laugh could always be had if you happened to go to one of the colorful neighborhood restaurants that catered to the locals rather than the tourists.

It was no joke on “Cheers” when they all called out “Norm!” whenever Norm Peterson walked in with his usual quip, because there was always a “Norm” at the local watering holes. Someone in the crowd was usually the designated “Norm.”

Living in California has opened my eyes to a different way of life all together.

You would figure that with all the diverse cultures living under the Pacific sky, I should be able to find some incredible eateries and bakeries.

Sadly, I have been very disappointed.

The San Francisco area had some great little secrets, but living here on the central coast, I find that it’s nearly impossible to find great joints to have an occasional nosh in.

Within three blocks of my house are two pizza joints and a fast food burger/hot dog/ice cream joint.

The two pizza places have a lot to learn about making pizza.

I’m surprised at how well they do considering how fairly revolting their pizza is.

I ate the best pizzas in the world in Boston, and in the Savannah area, Lovezzola’s was top dawg for pizza in my book.

Folks here don’t seem to expect a lot out of their food, except that it be served hot or cold.

You read all kinds of stuff about how great the food is in California, but don’t be fooled. The produce is great, to be sure, but finding someone who can whip up a dynamite omelette?


Hash browns?

Sausage gravy?


You ask for those and all you’ll get is a dull stare, which is probably a result of the medicinal marijuana clinics popping up like a church on every corner.

It must also be the reason why this dork of a governor, Jerry Brown, has passed legislation that makes “Gay Education” mandatory in elementary schools.

Granted, it will be a few years before this ridiculous law makes it into textbooks, but parents at this point have no recourse to opt their children out of it.

He says that “history should be honest,” and that the achievements of lesbians, gays, bisexuals, and transgenders should be highlighted and not left out of history books.

If they have made achievements, why does it matter about their sexual orientation?

What about the senator who ran for President but hid his pregnant girlfriend before his wife ratted him out?

What about the congressman who was caught Twittering explicit photos of himself to total strangers?

Will Monica Lewinsky make the history books? Will Governor Mark Sanford?

Get real.

The governor has bought into the LGBT’s idea that teaching children about folks who have made “Gay History” will cut down on bullying.

Bullying will only stop when parents step in and throttle those little bullies they’re raising.

Also, in this wonderful state of euphoria our governor seems to live in, he is also expected to approve measure AB 130 part of The Dream Act.

California’s Dream Act does not pertain to awarding legal status to undocumented students, however; AB 130 is designed to make paying for college easier for such students.

It allows for undocumented students who already meet the residency criteria for California in-state tuition to obtain scholarships that are not derived from state funds.

AB 130 is paired with AB 131, that would allow undocumented students to qualify for institutional financial aid, Cal Grants state financial aid grants and other assistance at the community college level. That bill is still in committee.

Keep smokin’ that legal weed, Gov.

Too bad you won’t find any good “after midnight” noshes when you’re out trolling for votes.

We’ll soon be a state of educated illegal aliens who can’t cook.

They’ll just keep sucking money off the government tree, which by the time the current administration gets done with it, will look like that sad little Charlie Brown Christmas tree.

Maybe I need to git with it and smoke something legal ... and then go find me a Krystals...