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Norman Lear, your public awaits
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Don’t you know that Archie Bunker must be scratchin’ hard to get outta that coffin of his to comment on who is running for President this year?

Can’t you just picture him tearin’ into Meathead because Meathead is so excited about having a woman and an African American pitted against each other? It’s a liberal’s dream.

I always thought George Jefferson would have made a good prez, and with Weezie in the White House? Awesome!

And to have George’s mother living there with them, as the First Mama? Now people, tell me that wouldn’t make one hilarious TV series!

"You may be the First Lady, Louise, but I am the First Mother!” says Mother Jefferson.

“Oh. You’re a Mother all right ...,” mutters Weezie.

I play the scenario out in my mind several times a day, because it really would be funny.

Anyway, we’ve got a black guy running against a white woman on the Democratic ticket, and on the Republican side, there’s an old ex-military guy running against a somewhat evangelical guy, they’re both white. Call ‘em a Wonder Bread sammich, because that’s what they are. Toss in a slice of cheese and some mayo, and you’ve got an All-American sandwich, my friends.

I try to picture who Archie would have voted for, because there is no doubt in my mind Edith would have chosen Hillary. I think that’s pretty much a given.

“Oh, but AHchee, she’s a WOOman!” swoons Edith.

“Woman. Dingbat. All the same. Ding. Bat,” retorts Archie.

But ol’ Arch? Well, he probably would vote Republican, that much is sure. He wouldn’t have voted Thompson because he’s from the South.

He wouldn’t have voted for Romney, too slick ... too smooth.

A solid “no” for Huckabee, being from Arkansas and somewhat religious. He’d have been calling Huckabee some pretty unkind things, if you remember how very un-politically correct Archie Bunker was! Ah, those were the days ...!

And I have been listening to all the candidates. I’ve watched the debates among the Republicans (because I really don’t give a hootenannie about the Dems ... ya heard one, ya heard ‘em all) and there is a certain “feeling” you get when you listen to them. Call it intuition or mojo, or whatever.

Hillary makes my skin crawl. She always has. There is something about her that just doesn’t ring true. She wants to be a somebody so bad, she’d probably kill to get it. Start with Bill, honey. Just step over that corpse and keep movin’.

John Edwards. He’s another one. Made me shudder everytime I watched him on television, so I’m glad I don’t have to look at him anymore. No charisma there.

Fred Thompson. Hmm. Warm and fuzzy. Like an old pair of slippers. I liked Fred. I’m really sorry he dropped out, but then, he’s got a couple of really young kiddies at home that need their daddy.

Mike Huckabee. He’s OK, doesn’t rev up the old engine or anything, but he actually seems to be the most genuine guy on the tube. Granted, President Huckabee just doesn’t have a great ring to it, and he’d probably be the first president to ever say, “Call me Mike.” And I would. He doesn’t have a trophy wife, but she looks like the kind of gal that could tell a really good joke and would walk out to fetch the paper in an old beatup bathrobe. They seem to be the least “pretentious” of the bunch. That is a quality I like.

Mitt Romney. Hey, can’t say the man ain’t good lookin’, because he definitely is. Yowsah. I wasn’t keen on him being Prez, but I’d hang his poster up in my room, no doubt. I didn’t get one of Gerard Butler as Leonidas in “300” for Christmas, but I could always paste Romney’s face on that body of Butler’s! Giddyup, girl!

Ron Paul. Oh Lord help us. Smart guy, but holy cow, what a whiner! I couldn’t take too much of him. He’d make a fabulous advisor, but that voice of his ... like someone taking too many hits off a helium balloon! He didn’t make any points with me, but I give him his due, he is smart.

Who else?

Oh, of course! John McCain. I have always liked McCain. He wouldn’t have been my first choice, but he can poke fun at himself, and he’s got way more experience than anyone else running for president. Yeah heck he’s old, but he is in good physical shape, his mind is still sharp, and his momma is still alive. Gotta love the man that loves his momma.

Obama? I don’t know. He kinda freaks me out a little bit. He gives me goosebumps and not in a good way. Hey, there is something up when even his wife wasn’t keen on him running for president and she said if he loses, she will definitely put her foot down on another campaign. That’s not to say, however, that if he wins, she wouldn’t be up there hanging curtains in the White House faster than you can say “GetouttamyhouseLauraBush!”

Yep. It’s been quite the circus ride already, and there are certainly more clownish acts to come.

Now, what do you reckon ol’ Fred Sanford would be thinkin’ about all this?

“Lizabeth! I’m comin’ ta join ya, honey!”