I used to change your diapers

Bob Rogers

Updated: Jan 8, 2010, 1:42 AM

Published: Jan 8, 2010, 1:48 AM

When I went to seminary to train to be a pastor, I was met with several surprises.

I think I expected all of the students to look like monks or something. Instead, I saw students who were tall and skinny, and some who were short and fat. I saw guys running around in T-shirts throwing footballs, and I saw egg-heads with wire-rimmed glasses carrying briefcases. Suddenly, it was as if God spoke to me and said, “Bob, I’ve got a great variety of churches out there, and I have called all of these different people to serve my different churches.”

Some things at the seminary remained the same, however. There was a lady who worked in the registrar’s office, who had been there since the time of Noah and the flood. When I met her, she remembered the days when my father was a student at the same seminary, and I was a little toddler living with my parents in the apartment above her. She said I would take my mother’s shoes out to the balcony and throw them off the balcony.

I told one of my friends what she said, and he replied, “That’s nothing! I was in line to register and when she saw my name she told everybody in line that she used to change my diapers!”

Soon after we arrived on campus, one of the administrators made a speech about following God’s purpose. If we were studying to be pastors, he recommended getting the M.Div. degree (Master of Divinity). If we were studying for youth or education ministry, he recommended the M.R.E. (Masters of Religious Education), and for music ministers he recommended the M.C.M. (Masters of Church Music).

He told us that one young lady came to the seminary, and told him that God had called her to be a pastor’s wife. She was looking for her Mrs. degree! Sure enough, after a few weeks, he saw her holding hands with a young ministerial student, and the next year, they were married. She knew her purpose and went after it.

All four gospels record that Jesus was constantly calling people, saying “follow Me!” (Matthew 4:19; 8:22; 9:9; 19:21; Mark 1:17; 2:14; Luke 5:27; 9:59; 18:22; John 1:43; 21:19) God has a purpose for everybody’s life, and not all are the same. The Mrs. degree is just as important as the M.Div. degree. Jesus is calling you to something. Are you answering His call?

(Copyright 2010 by Bob Rogers. Read this column each Friday for a mix of religion and humor. For more “Holy Humor,” go to the Web site of First Baptist Church of Rincon at www.fbcrincon.com.)

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Is there a church for a big woman with an itch?

Dr. Bob Rogers

Updated: Jan 23, 2014, 10:34 PM

Published: Jan 23, 2014, 10:36 PM

A pastor was called to be guest preacher at a church. He knew this church was different when the congregation ended every line of the hymn with the shout of “yeehah!”

As he stood to preach, he noticed that people were spread out on the pews. He would see a person, then a space, then another person, and another space. He wondered why nobody sat next to another person, when he noticed on the pew beside each person was a cowboy hat.

Another time this same preacher was invited to a new church in the city. He was surprised to see that everybody there looked like they had fallen face first into a tackle box, because they had piercings and earrings on every part of the body imaginable. A rock band was playing alternative music on the stage.

As different as these two churches were, they were both growing and reaching people for Christ.

Years ago I was pastor of a small country church in the backwoods of Mississippi. There was another Baptist church just five miles away in the town (population 600). The pastor’s wife at the town church asked me, “Why don’t our two churches merge?” I said, “There are people in my church who would not feel comfortable or fit in at your town church.” She said, “Oh, come on. We’re a small town church. What could be so different?”

I said, “Well, I got one really big woman in my church who, when she gets to feeling an itch, she pulls her dress halfway up and she scratches herself.”

The eyes of this pastor’s wife got really big and she said, “I see what you mean.”

I forgot to tell her about another woman in my church who saw a roach running across the wood floor, so she stomped on it with her bare foot, laughed and shouted, “Aha! I got him!”

Yep, the culture was definitely different where I was pastor.

Jesus upset the religious establishment because He crossed cultural barriers. He loved to eat with tax collectors and Gentiles and other strange people. Jesus walked into the land of Samaria, full of half-breed Jews who worshiped in weird ways and talked different and smelled different.

Jesus walked right up to a Samaritan woman at a well and started talking her language. He accepted her culture, but he let her know her sinful lifestyle had to change. Soon she had the whole town following Jesus (see John 4).

So what cultural barrier is keeping somebody in your community from hearing the gospel? If you tear down the cultural barriers to share Christ in your neighborhood, you may hear the angels shouting, “Yeehah!”

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