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The kind of doctor that does you no good
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I have a doctoral degree, but it’s not the kind that allows me to practice medicine. I worked four years for a doctor of theology degree at seminary. But I can’t write you a prescription with my degree. As one woman bluntly said, “You’re the kind of doctor that don’t do you no good.”

Although I’m not that other type of doctor, I do visit the sick in the hospitals frequently. I think I’ve learned enough about medicine to be dangerous if I were to give somebody medical advice.

The hospitals encourage ministers to wear a special badge with the hospital logo that looks just like the ones the doctors, nurses and other employees wear, except for the words “Visiting Clergy.” I rarely wear a coat and tie anymore to the hospital, especially since the hospital badge helps identify me as a minister.

But one day I was visiting the hospitals after coming from a funeral, and I was wearing a coat and tie. I knew that my church member was in a certain unit, but I didn’t know the room number. So I walked up to the counter, and said, “I need to see so-and-so.” Without looking up, the nurse at the counter handed me the church member’s medical records!

Another nurse at the counter loudly proclaimed, “IT SAYS ‘VISITING CLERGY.’” That nurse jerked those medical records back so fast that I would have gotten paper burn if they’d been in my hands.

Many people put themselves in the hands of the wrong doctor. I’m not talking about medical records, I’m talking about your life. Jesus often healed the sick, and came with the purpose of healing the sin-sick. But many people go to the wrong doctor. They trust in good deeds to heal their sin. They trust in religion to heal their sin. They trust in false gods and false messiahs. Jesus himself warned against spiritual thieves and robbers who would try to steal your faith (John 10:1-12), and warned against false teachers who would claim to be the messiah but are not (Matthew 24:5).

Jesus Christ is the only one who was able to pay for your sin by his sacrificial death on the cross. And only Doctor Jesus can heal your soul. If you try somebody else, you’ll find that he or she will be the kind of doctor that “don’t do you no good.”

(Copyright 2011 by Bob Rogers. Email: brogers@fbcrincon.com. Read more “Holy Humor” on the blog, www.holyhumor.blogspot.com)

Is there a church for a big woman with an itch?
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A pastor was called to be guest preacher at a church. He knew this church was different when the congregation ended every line of the hymn with the shout of “yeehah!”


As he stood to preach, he noticed that people were spread out on the pews. He would see a person, then a space, then another person, and another space. He wondered why nobody sat next to another person, when he noticed on the pew beside each person was a cowboy hat.


Another time this same preacher was invited to a new church in the city. He was surprised to see that everybody there looked like they had fallen face first into a tackle box, because they had piercings and earrings on every part of the body imaginable. A rock band was playing alternative music on the stage.


As different as these two churches were, they were both growing and reaching people for Christ.


Years ago I was pastor of a small country church in the backwoods of Mississippi. There was another Baptist church just five miles away in the town (population 600). The pastor’s wife at the town church asked me, “Why don’t our two churches merge?” I said, “There are people in my church who would not feel comfortable or fit in at your town church.” She said, “Oh, come on. We’re a small town church. What could be so different?”


I said, “Well, I got one really big woman in my church who, when she gets to feeling an itch, she pulls her dress halfway up and she scratches herself.”


The eyes of this pastor’s wife got really big and she said, “I see what you mean.”


I forgot to tell her about another woman in my church who saw a roach running across the wood floor, so she stomped on it with her bare foot, laughed and shouted, “Aha! I got him!”


Yep, the culture was definitely different where I was pastor.


Jesus upset the religious establishment because He crossed cultural barriers. He loved to eat with tax collectors and Gentiles and other strange people. Jesus walked into the land of Samaria, full of half-breed Jews who worshiped in weird ways and talked different and smelled different.


Jesus walked right up to a Samaritan woman at a well and started talking her language. He accepted her culture, but he let her know her sinful lifestyle had to change. Soon she had the whole town following Jesus (see John 4).


So what cultural barrier is keeping somebody in your community from hearing the gospel? If you tear down the cultural barriers to share Christ in your neighborhood, you may hear the angels shouting, “Yeehah!”


Copyright 2014 by Bob Rogers. Email: brogers@fbcrincon.com. Read this column each Friday in the Herald. Visit my blog at www.bobrogers.me.