Last week a shared some of my favorite messages on our church sign. Here are some others I’ve enjoyed seeing at other churches.
Many of them are very timely. I saw a church sign next door to a law office in Statesboro, that said, “GOD WANTS FULL CUSTODY, NOT JUST WEEKENDS.”
And a church sign in Omaha, Neb., said this during the college world series: “THOU SHALT NOT STEAL.” First Baptist Church in Hattiesburg, Miss., had this message one hot day in July: “YOU THINK IT’S HOT HERE.” A church in Phenix City, Ala., advertised their fall festival as “HALLOWED BE THY NAME FESTIVAL.” Another church sign said this during December: “OPEN EVERY SUNDAY NOW THROUGH CHRISTMAS.”
Then there are those church signs that are timeless. A few more of my favorites:
“WHEN SAUL OF TARSUS MET JESUS, HE BECAME PAUL NEW MAN.”
“SHOCK YOUR MOM — GO TO CHURCH.”
“NO MAN HAS EVER BEEN SHOT WHILE DOING DISHES.”
“FORGIVE YOUR ENEMIES — IT MESSES WITH THEIR HEADS.”
“LYING IN BED AND CRYING ‘O GOD!’ DOES NOT CONSTITUTE GOING TO WORSHIP.”
“WARNING: EXPOSURE TO THE SON MAY PREVENT BURNING.”
“HE WHO THROWS DIRT LOSES GROUND.”
“UNDER THE SAME MANAGEMENT FOR 2,000 YEARS.”
“A LITTLE SIN IS LIKE BEING A LITTLE PREGNANT.”
“ARE YOU ‘STANDING ON THE PROMISES’ OR ‘SITTING ON THE PREMISES’?”
“SIGN BROKEN — MESSAGE INSIDE.”
That last one reminds me that the message of the church, while meant to be proclaimed to the world, is also a message that invites us inside to hear more. In fact, near the end of the Bible we read this invitation: “The Spirit and the bride say, ‘Come!’” (Revelation 22:17).
The “Spirit” refers to the Holy Spirit, and the “bride” refers to the church (2 Corinthians 11:2). So if the Holy Spirit is calling you to come, and the church is calling you to come, then when you see the church sign, don’t just read the marquee. Go in and get the rest of the story. You’ll be glad you did.
(Copyright 2012 by Bob Rogers. Email: email@example.com. Read this column each Friday in the Herald. Read other “Holy Humor” columns by visiting www.fbcrincon.com and clicking on “Pastor’s site.”)