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Why it is dangerous for a preacher to be a referee
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A pastor should not try to be a referee, unless he just enjoys making people angry at him. Trust me on this one.

Once I was at a Christian youth retreat, and the kids were playing basketball. There was nobody available to referee, so they asked me to do it. In less than 30 seconds, both teams were furious at me for missing calls. I handed them the whistle and walked out of the gym.

My most vivid memory was refereeing a church softball game many years ago. They asked somebody more knowledgeable than me to be the umpire behind home plate. All I had to do was call batters safe or out as they ran the bases.

Everything was going fine for several innings. Then a ball was hit, and the runner who was on first base ran toward second. The first baseman fielded the ball, and threw it to the second baseman, who was standing on second. The ball landed in his glove before the runner touched second base, so I immediately lifted my thumb and shouted “You’re out!” Then the ball fell out of the second baseman’s glove. So I changed my call, crossing my arms in front of me and saying, “He’s safe!”

You would have thought that I had just denied the Trinity. The coach from the team in the field came rushing out to me, screaming obscenities and demanding to know why I changed my call. I tried to explain, but he didn’t want to hear it. All he wanted to do was shout and scream.

Finally, the coach stormed off, and the umpire came out to where I was. He said, “Preacher, let’s move you to third base and let the other ref call first and second. Maybe you won’t have too many people mad at you over there.” Boy, was I glad to get out of there when that game was over.

Unfortunately, sometimes church people can forget their religion when it comes to football, basketball, baseball, business meetings, and other contact sports. That’s why Jesus said, “Blessed are the peacemakers” (Matthew 5:9), and the apostle Paul says, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone”(Romans 12:18).

Christian, remember that the next time you get hot under the collar. Others are watching how you play the game, and you don’t want to get tossed out by the Head Umpire.

(Copyright 2011 by Bob Rogers. Email: brogers@fbcrincon.com. Read my blog at www.holyhumor.blogspot.com.)

Is there a church for a big woman with an itch?
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A pastor was called to be guest preacher at a church. He knew this church was different when the congregation ended every line of the hymn with the shout of “yeehah!”


As he stood to preach, he noticed that people were spread out on the pews. He would see a person, then a space, then another person, and another space. He wondered why nobody sat next to another person, when he noticed on the pew beside each person was a cowboy hat.


Another time this same preacher was invited to a new church in the city. He was surprised to see that everybody there looked like they had fallen face first into a tackle box, because they had piercings and earrings on every part of the body imaginable. A rock band was playing alternative music on the stage.


As different as these two churches were, they were both growing and reaching people for Christ.


Years ago I was pastor of a small country church in the backwoods of Mississippi. There was another Baptist church just five miles away in the town (population 600). The pastor’s wife at the town church asked me, “Why don’t our two churches merge?” I said, “There are people in my church who would not feel comfortable or fit in at your town church.” She said, “Oh, come on. We’re a small town church. What could be so different?”


I said, “Well, I got one really big woman in my church who, when she gets to feeling an itch, she pulls her dress halfway up and she scratches herself.”


The eyes of this pastor’s wife got really big and she said, “I see what you mean.”


I forgot to tell her about another woman in my church who saw a roach running across the wood floor, so she stomped on it with her bare foot, laughed and shouted, “Aha! I got him!”


Yep, the culture was definitely different where I was pastor.


Jesus upset the religious establishment because He crossed cultural barriers. He loved to eat with tax collectors and Gentiles and other strange people. Jesus walked into the land of Samaria, full of half-breed Jews who worshiped in weird ways and talked different and smelled different.


Jesus walked right up to a Samaritan woman at a well and started talking her language. He accepted her culture, but he let her know her sinful lifestyle had to change. Soon she had the whole town following Jesus (see John 4).


So what cultural barrier is keeping somebody in your community from hearing the gospel? If you tear down the cultural barriers to share Christ in your neighborhood, you may hear the angels shouting, “Yeehah!”


Copyright 2014 by Bob Rogers. Email: brogers@fbcrincon.com. Read this column each Friday in the Herald. Visit my blog at www.bobrogers.me.