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You might be a redneck church if...
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Recently I led a funeral procession, driving my pickup truck. A guest at the funeral, who was from Canada, was surprised to see a pickup truck at the head of a funeral procession, and asked a family member, “Who was that?” The family member proudly said, “That’s our preacher! You’re in Effingham County!”

That pickup truck has a special meaning to me because of how I got it. Three years ago, my church gave me a love offering to help me make the down payment on the pickup truck that I wanted. They kept the offering secret and surprised me on my fifth anniversary. They called it “Operation Tailgate.” A guest preacher heard about that and said, “You know your church is a redneck church if you help your pastor buy a truck for his anniversary.”

Here are a few more signs of a redneck church that somebody passed along to me:

• You know your church is a redneck church if the Finance Committee refuses to buy a chandelier because none of the members know how to play one.

• You know your church is a redneck church if the preacher preaches on how Jesus fed the 5,000 and the people ask if the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch ’em.

• You know your church is a redneck church if baptism is referred to as “branding.”

• You know your church is a redneck church if the pastor and his wife driving matching pickup trucks.

Well, she’s still driving the mini-van, but does it count that she likes to ride in my truck with me?

Copyright 2007 by Bob Rogers. Read this column each Thursday for a mix of religion and humor. Read more “Holy Humor” on the Web at www.fbcrincon.com.

Is there a church for a big woman with an itch?
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A pastor was called to be guest preacher at a church. He knew this church was different when the congregation ended every line of the hymn with the shout of “yeehah!”


As he stood to preach, he noticed that people were spread out on the pews. He would see a person, then a space, then another person, and another space. He wondered why nobody sat next to another person, when he noticed on the pew beside each person was a cowboy hat.


Another time this same preacher was invited to a new church in the city. He was surprised to see that everybody there looked like they had fallen face first into a tackle box, because they had piercings and earrings on every part of the body imaginable. A rock band was playing alternative music on the stage.


As different as these two churches were, they were both growing and reaching people for Christ.


Years ago I was pastor of a small country church in the backwoods of Mississippi. There was another Baptist church just five miles away in the town (population 600). The pastor’s wife at the town church asked me, “Why don’t our two churches merge?” I said, “There are people in my church who would not feel comfortable or fit in at your town church.” She said, “Oh, come on. We’re a small town church. What could be so different?”


I said, “Well, I got one really big woman in my church who, when she gets to feeling an itch, she pulls her dress halfway up and she scratches herself.”


The eyes of this pastor’s wife got really big and she said, “I see what you mean.”


I forgot to tell her about another woman in my church who saw a roach running across the wood floor, so she stomped on it with her bare foot, laughed and shouted, “Aha! I got him!”


Yep, the culture was definitely different where I was pastor.


Jesus upset the religious establishment because He crossed cultural barriers. He loved to eat with tax collectors and Gentiles and other strange people. Jesus walked into the land of Samaria, full of half-breed Jews who worshiped in weird ways and talked different and smelled different.


Jesus walked right up to a Samaritan woman at a well and started talking her language. He accepted her culture, but he let her know her sinful lifestyle had to change. Soon she had the whole town following Jesus (see John 4).


So what cultural barrier is keeping somebody in your community from hearing the gospel? If you tear down the cultural barriers to share Christ in your neighborhood, you may hear the angels shouting, “Yeehah!”


Copyright 2014 by Bob Rogers. Email: brogers@fbcrincon.com. Read this column each Friday in the Herald. Visit my blog at www.bobrogers.me.