Running red lights on the way to the cemetery

Bob Rogers

Updated: Jan 15, 2010, 2:24 PM

Published: Jan 15, 2010, 2:26 PM

I had an interesting experience at the back of a funeral procession a few years ago.

The funeral was in Savannah, and so was the graveside service. The police in Savannah rarely give escorts for funeral processions, and this time was no exception.

The funeral director, however, efficiently got the procession of cars out of the church parking lot and onto the busy city street. He had signs saying “funeral” on the lead cars, and even without a police escort, the oncoming traffic stopped and allowed the procession to exit and proceed through every traffic signal.

I got in line near the back, and followed along on the four-lane city street. As we approached a red light in the left lane, a police car pulled out of a parking lot and rode alongside me in the right lane. The hearse was at least 30 cars ahead of me, so it was not obvious to the officer that he was near the end of a funeral procession. He saw the three cars in front of me go through the red light, and I went through the red light, and the lady behind me went through it as well. I thought, “This is going to be interesting to see how this cop reacts.”

Sure enough, the policeman’s light started flashing on top of his patrol car as he pulled in behind the lady right behind me. I could see her in my mirror: she was wearing a red dress, a bonnet and was sternly looking straight ahead, ignoring the flashing lights behind her as the funeral procession continued.

Frustrated by this, the cop got in the middle turn lane to her left, and pulled beside her. Amused, I looked in my rear view mirror to see what would happen next. I saw her roll down her window as she continued, and say something to him. I don’t know what she said, but I could tell it was said with conviction.

Immediately the policeman turned off his lights, slowed down, and made a U-turn, leaving us to continue on our way to the cemetery. When we got to our destination, I asked the lady, “What did you say to him? Did you tell him to either lead our procession or leave you alone?” She replied with a smirk, “Something like that.”

This reminds me of a spiritual truth for believers in Christ. Believer, the next time the devil turns on his blue lights of condemnation and reminds you of how you are a sinner guilty of breaking the law, you remind him who you’re with. You’re following Jesus, your sins are forgiven, so the devil can no longer accuse you of your sins. The apostle Paul says it like this in 1 Corinthians 15:56-57 (HCSB): “the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ!”

I’m not saying this is a license to drive like the devil. I wouldn’t want a policeman to see the fish on my car and surmise by my driving that I stole the car!

(Copyright 2010 by Bob Rogers. Read this column each Friday for a mix of religion and humor. For more “Holy Humor,” go to the Web site of First Baptist Church of Rincon at www.fbcrincon.com.)

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Is there a church for a big woman with an itch?

Dr. Bob Rogers

Updated: Jan 23, 2014, 10:34 PM

Published: Jan 23, 2014, 10:36 PM

A pastor was called to be guest preacher at a church. He knew this church was different when the congregation ended every line of the hymn with the shout of “yeehah!”

As he stood to preach, he noticed that people were spread out on the pews. He would see a person, then a space, then another person, and another space. He wondered why nobody sat next to another person, when he noticed on the pew beside each person was a cowboy hat.

Another time this same preacher was invited to a new church in the city. He was surprised to see that everybody there looked like they had fallen face first into a tackle box, because they had piercings and earrings on every part of the body imaginable. A rock band was playing alternative music on the stage.

As different as these two churches were, they were both growing and reaching people for Christ.

Years ago I was pastor of a small country church in the backwoods of Mississippi. There was another Baptist church just five miles away in the town (population 600). The pastor’s wife at the town church asked me, “Why don’t our two churches merge?” I said, “There are people in my church who would not feel comfortable or fit in at your town church.” She said, “Oh, come on. We’re a small town church. What could be so different?”

I said, “Well, I got one really big woman in my church who, when she gets to feeling an itch, she pulls her dress halfway up and she scratches herself.”

The eyes of this pastor’s wife got really big and she said, “I see what you mean.”

I forgot to tell her about another woman in my church who saw a roach running across the wood floor, so she stomped on it with her bare foot, laughed and shouted, “Aha! I got him!”

Yep, the culture was definitely different where I was pastor.

Jesus upset the religious establishment because He crossed cultural barriers. He loved to eat with tax collectors and Gentiles and other strange people. Jesus walked into the land of Samaria, full of half-breed Jews who worshiped in weird ways and talked different and smelled different.

Jesus walked right up to a Samaritan woman at a well and started talking her language. He accepted her culture, but he let her know her sinful lifestyle had to change. Soon she had the whole town following Jesus (see John 4).

So what cultural barrier is keeping somebody in your community from hearing the gospel? If you tear down the cultural barriers to share Christ in your neighborhood, you may hear the angels shouting, “Yeehah!”

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