I gotta admit it, I love watching “All in the Family” and “Sanford and Son.” Honestly, you guys know it, and I’ve said it before, that is some of the dang funniest stuff on television. It is even funnier now that our culture has become so politically correct. How boring.
I’ve got the kid watching with me at night because I want him to be exposed to how funny things were back in the day, when you could make fun of how people talked, acted, dressed, behaved ... it was just funny.
People are funny, and they always will be funny.
Archie asking George Jefferson for some advice for a friend in the “bedroom” department cause “youse people seem to know how to handle those kind of problems” and Jefferson suggests eating a couple of hog jowls, ’cause that’s what they eat to cure those kinds of problems. He warns Archie, though, to be careful not to eat too many ’cause “they might make you wanna go shine a pair shoes...” Gut-busting hilarious.
And of course, who can get past an episode of “Sanford and Son” when Aunt Esther shows up? LaWanda Page should have won an Emmy several times over for her role, she was the funniest woman on television back then. Sorry Carol Burnett, but she was.
“Fred Sanford, you ol’ fish-eye pickle-eyed fool!”
One of the funniest lines ever was Fred telling her how ugly she was.
“I’m gonna put yo’ face in some cookie dough, and make gorilla cookies!”
I laughed so hard my stomach hurt.
After Fred’s place gets broken into and everything gets stolen, he starts rippin’ on Aunt Esther. As she’s leaving the house, upset that he won’t donate anything to the church, she admonishes, “You gonna go to bed tonight and look around this ol’ empty place and remember that the Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away.”
Fred says, “And you gonna look in the mirror and see that ol’ ugly face the Lord gaveth you and you stuck with it!”
She took a lickin’ but kept on tickin’.
She showed up one night and Fred introduced her as “the plumber” because “all the pipes backed up into her face.”
Another episode has Aunt Esther walking in and being sweet to Lamont and Fred starts in on her. She says, “I didn’t come here to start a fight with you, old fish-eyed fool...”.
Lamont: “Yeah, Pop, can’t you be nice to Aunt Esther?”
Fred: (grumbling) “Hello, beautiful.”
Esther: “Oh Fred, are you callin’ me beautiful?”
Fred: “No. I’m lookin’ at the junkyard.”
It just doesn’t get any better than a little Sanford and Son to take the pain away of everything else that is going on around us.
I saw an episode of “All in the Family” recently where Archie, Edith, Gloria and Meathead rush down to Kelsey ’s Bar to watch Archie being interviewed earlier in the day.
The gang at Kelsey’s was watching a ball game, so Archie offered to buy everyone a round if they’d let Kelsey turn the channel.
So Kelsey flipped the channel and there was the reporter, announcing her interview with “an average worker ... Archie Bunker” and immediately, up popped a “Special Report.” Poor Arch gets booted by Nixon taking over the set.
The funniest thing about that was how they all ridiculed Nixon. Everyone in the bar had something derogatory to say about him.
I had to laugh because Obama is a lot like ol’ Tricky Dick. Nixon didn’t like people talking smack about him and had his minions spying on people.
Obama doesn’t like to be dissed on television, either. He doesn’t like any criticism at all and lashes out constantly when he thinks he is being treated unfairly.
George W. Bush got heat all the time.
What did he do?
Shrugged it off, laughed it off. What are you gonna do? When you are turned into everyone’s favorite clown on “MAD TV,” “Saturday Night Live” and countless other programs, you just gotta take that dose of politically incorrect behavior and deal with it.
Bush handled it very well.
I can’t see Obama and his first lady pulling off a Fred and Aunt Esther routine, although it would certainly be funny if they tried.
In another episode, Lamont held a birthday party for Aunt Esther at the house and Fred was particularly insulting to her, even as she was surrounded by friends and family.
He handed her a big sheet of wrinkled cellophane and said, “Here’s your present.”
“What’s this for?” she asks indignantly.
“You hold it up to yo’ face. Now you got a Halloween mask!”
She leaps up and he struggles to get up and just as she is about to lay into him, he reaches over and pulls the little birthday hat she’s wearing and it lets it go, popping her in the head.
She starts swinging that purse and makes her move, he turns to run (as you try to picture him running ... with those bowed legs of his) and reaches back, snatching off her wig.
It was a Kodak moment. Priceless.
And yet somehow, I just can’t see our president and his missus having that much fun.
That’s not to say Michelle probably hasn’t called him some choice names lately, but I doubt that any are as classic as: You ol’ limp-haired bug-eye pickle-eyed fool.
Michelle does need to go back to Fort Hood, though, and give one last word of caution to Maj. Hasan as he lies in his hospital bed.
“Watch out, sucka...”.